SA Parent Life

Response to MEC’s remarks about Home-Education on 9 August 2007

2007-08-12T07:13:00.000+02:00

by A Daddy

The article below appeared in the Mercury on 9 August 2007. I thought I’d make a few comments, which I also forwarded to the Mercury.
At first when I read the article I thought of this one liner – “What’s worse – Ignorance or Apathy? – Who knows? Who cares?”
I read it again and thought of this quote – “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.”
Then I wondered how some people can think its right to think you’re right when you think its right to be wrong.
Then decided to write a response.
I wonder – Is it proper to slam home education by saying it has a serious negative impact on the overall development of children?
Depends – If you have interviewed every single person who ever received home education and you find everyone to be underdeveloped in some area – your “slammation” may have grounds. If not, it is worth as much as a statistic that is made up on the spot.
If someone reckons that schools are microcosms of society, it is probably also possible that that same person could surmise that an aeroplane can fly through a watermelon. You see – A watermelon is 80% water and a cloud is 80% water. An aeroplane can fly through a cloud. Therefore an aeroplane can fly through a watermelon.
If you think that education is much more than simply failing or passing, you are right. As a matter of interest – failing, passing and socialising are words that are entirely divorced from education.
Identity, purpose and legitimacy, on the other hand, is a large part thereof.
That said - One should never assume that all parents who homeschool, educate their children.
Education has to do with assisting/training an individual to reach his/her potential and doing what he/she was created for. It has nothing to do with exclusivity or academics. It has everything to do with clarity of focus.
In conclusion I can agree with Mark Twain who said – “Never let your schooling interfere with your education.”

By Colleen DardaganMEC slams home education
August 09 2007 at 07:46AM
KwaZulu-Natal Education MEC Ina Cronje has slammed home education, saying it has a seriously negative impact on the overall development of children."I am utterly against it. Part of a child's learning is to socialise and learn to cope in the world. If schools are microcosms of society, depriving the child of that learning experience will have a very serious impact on overall development. "Children may do well in a subject, but education is much more than simply failing or passing," said Cronje, while confirming there had been an increase in the number of registrations for home schooling in KZN over the past year.
Home education is under the spotlight in South Africa, with research findings by the national Education Department due to be released soon.Leendert van Oostrum, head of the Pestalozzi Trust, has dismissed the findings, saying the process was flawed and the results would not accurately reflect why parents chose to school their children at home. The trust is a Gauteng-based legal defence fund for home school parents who find themselves in conflict with the Education Department."The department only tendered for a survey of those who are registered and, according to our records, less than five percent of the estimated 80 000 children being home schooled in the country are reflected on departmental records. Any research based on the number of children listed with the department cannot accurately reflect the many different reasons parents choose to home educate their children."Hersheela Narsee, head of the research project at the department, said the results of the study, which involved 2 900 registered children, were due for release in the next few months. According to the national department, KZN had more than 500 children registered for home schooling, the highest number in the country.Education spokesperson Christi Naude said the number of children registered did not correlate with the national department's figures. "We had 400 registered, but that is not accurate.Then the computers were stolen at our offices in Ulundi, so we only have records of 155 children - we have had an increase of 70 percent in registrations in the last year. However, this figure is also not reliable as many parents do not inform us when they decide to stop home schooling and send their children back to public or independent schools."Narsee described the monitoring process in KZN as difficult. "Distances and human resource capacity issues in the department are key barriers. For example, to monitor over 500 home learners in KwaZulu-Natal it would require officials to travel 60 840km and 877 man days a year for a single, three-hour visit to each of these home sites," she said.Van Oostrum said according to his records most parents chose not to send their children to public schools precisely because they didn't want them to follow the national curriculum."The new curriculum shows all the hallmarks of revolutionary education practice based on Marxist theory. Children's religious and cultural identities are shifted by interfaith and multiculturism to common identities. In fact, I believe the Department of Education's curriculum is so prescriptive, it borders on the unlawful."

World Breastfeeding Week 1-7 August 2007

2007-08-04T06:24:00.000+02:00

Posted with compliments of Worldbreastfeedingweek.org

Breastfeeding: The 1st Hour
Early initiation and exclusive breastfeeding for six months can
Save more than ONE million babies!

“It begins at birth. Our very first act after birth is to suck our mother’s…milk. This is an act of affection, of compassion. Without that act, we cannot survive. That’s clear…That’s the way of life. That’s reality.”
Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, The Art of Happiness A Handbook for Living.1998

Objectives:

To mobilise the world to the potential for saving ONE million babies starting with ONE simple action: allowing the baby to initiate breastfeeding in the first hour of life.

To promote immediate skin-to-skin contact of the mother and baby and continuing with exclusive breastfeeding for six months .

To encourage ministers of health and other authorities to include the initiation of breastfeeding in the first hour as a key indicator for preventive health.

To ensure that families know how important a baby’s first hour is, so that they can make sure that their babies are given this opportunity.

To support the newly revised and revitalised Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative (BFHI), with its emphasis on integration and expansion, and on the early initiation of breastfeeding.

In the first hour of life, a baby finds her mother’s breast. Together they can do it on their own, when we respect maternal/infant physiology as we provide expert maternal child care.
This is the beginning of a life-sustaining breastfeeding relationship between mother and child.
---

Visit http://breastcrawl.org/ to view the video

The Remarkable First Hour of Life
When healthy infants are placed skin-to-skin on their mother’s abdomen and chest immediately after birth, they exhibit remarkable capabilities. They are alert. They can crawl, stimulated by mother’s gentle touch, across her abdomen, reaching her breast.13 They begin to touch and massage the breast. This first gentle touch of a baby’s hand or head at the breast stimulates release of maternal oxytocin,9 thus beginning both the flow of milk and enhancing the feelings of love for the baby. Then the baby smells, mouths and licks the mother’s nipple. Finally, he or she attaches to the breast and feeds. This sequence of events is important for the survival of human young.

Optimal breastfeeding
The WHO/UNICEF Global Strategy for Infant and Young Child Feeding recommends that children breastfeed exclusively for the first 6 months of life, and then continue breastfeeding with adequate complementary food up to 2 years or beyond. Normal initiation of breastfeeding in the first minutes to first hours of life begins with skin-to-skin contact, and helps mothers and infants to achieve optimal breastfeeding. This is required in the BFHI, specifically in Step 4 of the WHO/UNICEF 10 Steps to Successful Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding Rights
The Convention on the Rights of the Child recognises that every child has the inherent right to life and aims to ensure their survival and development. Breastfeeding within the first hour after delivery helps to ensure child survival. Women have a right to this knowledge and to receive the support that they need to initiate breastfeeding accordingly.

Why is skin-to-skin contact after birth and breastfeeding within the first hour of life so important?

The mother’s body helps to keep the baby appropriately warm, which is especially important for small and low birth weight babies.

The baby is less stressed, calmer and has steadier breathing and heart rates.

The baby is exposed first to the bacteria from the mother which are mostly harmless, or against which the mother’s milk contains protective factors. The mother’s bacteria colonise the baby’s gut and skin and compete with more harmful bacteria from health providers and the environment, and so prevent them from causing infection.

The baby receives colostrum for the first feeds – liquid gold, sometimes called the gift of life.

Colostrum is rich in immunologically active cells, antibodies and other protective proteins. Thus it serves as the baby’s first immunization. It protects against many infections. It helps to regulate the baby’s own developing immune system
· It contains growth factors, which help the infant’s intestine to mature and function effectively. This makes it more difficult for micro-organisms and allergens to get into the baby’s body
· It is rich in Vitamin A, which helps protect the eyes and reduce infection
· It stimulates the baby to have bowel movements so that meconium is cleared quickly from the gut. This helps get rid of the substances in the baby's body that produce jaundice and therefore may help reduce it
· It comes in small volumes, just right for the new baby.

Touching, mouthing and suckling at the breast stimulates oxytocin release – this is important for many reasons:
· Oxytocin causes the uterus to contract. This may help delivery of the placenta and reduce maternal bleeding after the birth10
· Oxytocin stimulates other hormones which cause a mother to feel calm, relaxed, and some would say “in love” with her baby 9
· Oxytocin stimulates the flow of milk from the breast.

Women experience incredible joy with this first meeting of their child! And fathers often share this delight. The process of bonding between mother and baby begins.

Overall, skin-to-skin contact and early feeds with colostrum are associated with reduced mortality in the first month of life. They are also associated with increased exclusive breastfeeding and longer duration of breastfeeding in the following months, leading to improved health and reduced mortality later on as well.

Is normal breastfeeding initiation in the first hour all that is needed to guarantee continued exclusive breastfeeding?
Absolutely not! Mothers need continued support to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months. The family, health workers, traditional healers and others in the community are all important contributors to their network of support. Health providers, health visitors and others need clinical training in assessment of breastfeeding, identification of problems, as well as knowledge and skills for helping the mother to resolve difficulties. Follow-up by a health worker within 48-72 hours after the birth, again after one week, and at appropriate times thereafter provides the opportunity to intervene early if there are problems, as well as to reassure the mother when things are going well.

Implementation of the newly revised and revitalised BFHI with its 10 Steps to Successful Breastfeeding along with adherence to The International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes and Subsequent World Health Assembly Resolutions provide the support structure needed to protect, promote and support optimal breastfeeding.

The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action (WABA) is a global network of individuals and organisations concerned with the protection, promotion and support of breastfeeding worldwide based on the Innocenti Declarations, the Ten Links for Nurturing the Future and the WHO/UNICEF Global Strategy for Infant and Young Child Feeding. Its core partners are International Baby Food Action Network (IBFAN), La Leche League International (LLLI), International Lactation Consultant Association (ILCA), Wellstart International and Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine (ABM). WABA is in consultative status with UNICEF and an NGO in Special Consultative Status with the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations (ECOSOC).

More Breastfeeding information:
http://www.waba.org.my/
http://www.worldbreastfeedingweek.org/
http://www.earthbabies.co.za/
http://www.kellymom.com/
http://breastfeeding.blog.motherwear.com/
http://www.lalecheleague.org/SouthAfrica.html

My contribution to the broadening of the tax base (29 June 2007)

2007-07-05T04:48:00.000+02:00

By A Daddy
It was a Friday morning just like any other. I woke up, got up, charged up and filled up. We still had a couple of things to do in preparation for our son, Migael, who we expected to arrive on 07-07-07. The most important thereof – my wife, Marie’s, hairdresser appointment.
At around 8:00 Marie politely informed me that 07-07-07 seemed a little too far in the future based on certain physical signals she experienced. So at around 11:00 we decided to take on the 22 km trip to the Hospital, which took us about 25 minutes, just to get some kind of indication of what our plan of action should be.
We pitched up, the nurses did their “stuff” and told us that Migael could technically arrive at any moment but their gut feeling told them there was still time.
So we went home and my wife honoured her hairdresser appointment at 13:30. When walking out of the salon at around 14:00 she told me that the contractions were about 7 minutes apart. We drove home very calmly and told my mom, who is visiting, and kids that the time has come to undertake the 22 km trip again.
By this time my wife whispered in my ear that the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. We started our journey. Four minutes later she told me that she had another contraction.
My mind started wondering to a few movie scenes that I had seen at some stage where people had to rush to the Hospital, but I knew at that time that it only happened in movies.
However when my wife whispered in my ear, three minutes later, that she had another contraction I shifted gears into movie mode.
It briefly reminded of an incident when I experienced that although a square peg doesn’t fit into a round hole, a bone can fit tightly around a dog’s teeth.
My mom started shivering, my oldest daughter reminded me that we were not driving a 4X4, my other daughter thought her dad had gone colour blind, but she sort-of enjoyed it, and my son thought he had arrived in heaven.
The traffic made me realise that the weekend had already started in Pretoria and a few frustrated people did their utmost to make sure that I wait my turn and do not pass them. (May they be blessed!)
Any case, we arrived at the hospital and informed the staff of the situation. They welcomed us back but did not understand the urgency of the situation.
I politely informed them that we had a covenant, which included short, easy, painless contractions and that it would serve them well to hurry up.
They concurred, did their “stuff”, called the doctor. She arrived. A contraction arrived. And after three pushes the tax base was broadened at 14:45.
His name: Migael
Inherent meaning: Who is like God?
Spiritual connotation: Esteemed
First blessing I gave him after his birth: I blessed him with wisdom and anointing to stand solidly on the righteous past, and at the same time to see outside the traditions and norms of the religious movement into which he has been born.
Weight – 2.85 kgLength – Perfect
Everything else – PerfectMom is doing great.
First blessing I gave her after Migael’s birth: I blessed her with having the perfect peace, not as the world gives, great perspective and great understanding.
Dad, sisters and brother are delighted.
It’s great to have the covenant keeping, Lord of Hosts, El Shaddai, Abba Father, The Faithful One on our side.

In Celebration of the Two. 19 June 2007.

2007-07-03T07:57:00.000+02:00

by Cath Jenkin

the shitties

breast pads. clearly created and marketed by people who have never had breasts. and especially ones that leak.
expressing. aka the wakka wakka machine. clearly created by people who have never used their nipples for anything except erotic pleasure.
sickness. the unbearable loneliness and powerlessness that comes at 2am when you can do nothing more except hold your crying child and pray that sleep will come for both of you.
dependence. the realisation that this tiny little person is entirely dependent on you for everything. realising also that you, yourself are still dependent and feeling even more powerless to do anything.
tantrums. and oh boy, how you can throw them. one word comes to mind - retribution.
pain. the pain of childbirth is nothing, absolutely nothing in comparison to the pain you feel when you get a phonecall to say your child's been hurt and needs emergency medical attention.
disorder. nothing will ever stay clean again. ever. just give up hope of ever having a clean house ever again. but, reserve the right to complain and from young, you do them train.
metamorphosis. the constant change demanded of you as a result of the constant change that this little person is going through. don't blink, because you will miss something.
fatigue. you will never be as tired as this. ever. you will never sleep again like you used to. ever. you get used to it, you do, and by the time the teen years roll around, and all they ever want to do is sleep, your body's so well-honed to not sleeping that you get up and do random hobbies like decoupage and shit.
heartache. nothing will ever hurt you as much as when your child rejects you in favour of another. nothing will ever hurt you as much as when your child gets hurt, in any way whatsoever. they say when a child is born, the parents' souls then live outside their body. it's true. never mind heart on sleeve, try everything exposed and raw and tender and unprotected.
pooh. i have no need to explain any more on this than to say pooh.

the f**king amazings that i wouldn't trade for anything in the world, not even twelve hours sleep and a hot bath and being able to read an entire book in one sitting.

that very first smile. my dad died the same day and you looked at me and smiled. three weeks old and already more resilient than me.
that very first mama. a warm thursday evening. it just popped out, you wanted my attention so much.
those very first steps. that i watched you take as you walked from the wall and into your daddy's arms.
the love. the indescribable and overwhelming joy that rises up from a place within you that never existed before when your little rascal throws their arms around you and squeezes.
the kisses. open mouth with tongue all over your cheek, nose and including a free dose of snot and some dried up milk.
the dancing. the dancing around the lounge with you and you throwing your head back and laughing.
the giggling. when you laugh, your whole body shakes. its evidence of your unashamed aliveness that i hope will never be tainted by the world.
the singing. and the clapping. and the singing the songs with the actions.
the excitement. everything you see is like you've seen it for the very first time. "Look mama Look Look Look"
the fanclub. even when you're entirely ruined, deemed unsuitable for anybody's consumption in the adult world, rejected, dejected, and passed on by, you come home and all your little person wants is for you to hold them and sing badly to them.
the night time doo doo ritual. of kisses and stroking and you playing with my hair.
the dressing up. being able to dress you up in clothes with ears and knowing full well you'll hate me for it one day but not caring because you are just so cute, i could fall over.
the holding my hand. with your little hand in mine we read together and you point to the pictures and tell me their names.

i keep looking at you and asking myself - where the hell did the time go? what happened to the little bundle we brought home all swaddled who just slept all the time and ate and slept and cried? how is it that I know what to do now about hiccups? (thanks very much Google - three days old and already your livelihood's dependent on the internet!) how is it that childspeak, once deemed entirely undecipherable by me, is now my most common spoken language?

you've changed me, as you've grown. you've forced me to decide who i am, and who i want to be. you've helped me do things I never thought possible, and just tonight, walked over to me, put your arms around me and said "love you mama". you can piss me off and melt my heart in a nannosecond, and yet, i wouldn't change a thing.

730 days. approximately 4500 nappies down. approximately 3650 bottles of milk. more laundry than a hospital in war time. and more love than my beaten heart can hold.

thank you for being in my life, little girl.

As I write this, two years ago at this time, we were checking in at maternity where that numbnut behind the counter said "and what are you here for?" /well lady, i'm actually smuggling soccer balls and was bored so we thought we could come hang in the maternity ward for a while because we had nothing better to do. what the hell do you think i'm doing here!/. your grandparents were anxiously waiting to hear from us, i got a pipe inserted up my bum haha. my best friend was nervously checking her phone every thirty two seconds. your aunts and uncles were hopping around waiting for you to arrive. and i was wearing a burn shirt.

i will never forget how you looked when you arrived. so calm. you were so calm we were actually worried that something was wrong with you. all long limbs and tummy and haha tail, you were. of course, it took me three days to find out you had a little tail!

and now, there you are, asleep and dreaming of your barney cake and candles and swings and friends.

we love you little one. every day we are thankful for your exuberant smile and your joy for just living. thank you for choosing and blessing us.

Happy Birthday Cameron.

International Nestlé-Free Week

2007-06-20T06:57:00.000+02:00

As you probably know, I support the boycott of Nestlé products.
According the the World Health Organisation Authority (WHO) 1.5 million babies die every year as a result of inappropriate feeding. Despite this Nestlé continues to push its baby milks in breach of international standards.
Monitoring by groups on the ground around the world shows Nestlé is responsible for more violations than any other company. That's why it is singled out for boycott action.
If you don't boycott Nestlé already, I ask that you consider looking at the evidence and giving up Nestlé products for one week, at least.
Boycott groups around the world have declared 2-8 July to be International Nestlé-Free Week.
The boycott has forced some changes from the company, but it is still a long way from complying. Campaigners are also working for laws. Nestlé can comply when it is given no choice. It is not being asked to do something that is impossible, but without pressure it continues to put its own profits before infant health and mothers' rights.
You can find out more information and look at the evidence yourself on the Baby Milk Action website at:
http://www.babymilkaction.org/resources/boycott/nestlefree.html
You can sign up there to support the boycott.
It is important to tell Nestlé you will be boycotting it, whether it is just for the week, or until it accepts and acts on the plan put to it by boycott groups for saving infant lives.
You can telephone Nestlé on the freephone number0800 00 00 30 (Not in SA), 086 009 6116 (SA number) or send a message via its websitehttp://www.nestle.com/

I'M THE MOST PRIVILEGED GRANNY!

2007-06-06T07:43:00.000+02:00

by 'Glen'

It’s true.
When you are present at the birth of a baby, that baby steals a portion of your heart for life.
It’s so true!
Especially when that baby is your first grandchild! His heart is imprinted on your soul forever. Unconditional love with no option or choice, instantly!
My experience began with the ante-natal classes where I was the ‘dad’ for the duration of Angel’s pregnancy. These sessions were mind boggling (for me any way). I already had four babies of my own and assumed I knew it all. At thirty six I was about to become a Granny and I discovered I knew NOTHING about childbirth and new babies. I knew even less about epidurals, forceps, caesareans, breech babies, premature babies and so much more that the brain blows a fuse.
However, I did learn about daddy’s-to-be who felt squeamish at the mere sight of the implements in a text book. Many a daddy had to sit with his head between his knees in those classes. The educational movies on childbirth are filmed with a ‘full frontal’ view of the mother during the birthing process and that is hard on the eyes for anyone! Dads usually stand at the mother’s shoulder during the birthing process - well in my experience that is. I must say that I still can’t get my head around the epidural part for childbirth. I do not believe that the chemicals they use are of any advantage to the mother or the baby. But I digress.
The classes prepared us as well as possible for the pending happy event. As usual, our darling boy decided that midnight was a good time to start making it known that he was ready to see us all. D-day had finally arrived!!
Although my heart was torn between pity for my Angel and her pain, sadness that she had to go through all this at the tender age of seventeen, my heart still skips faster when I remember the birth of darling Damien. When the nurse connected the heart monitor and the labour pain monitor and I heard Damien’s little heart beat I cried. It was too awesome for words. When I heard his heart beat quicken with the intensity of each contraction I was blown away.
Angel was so brave. She was blessed by a quick labour for a first baby and the birth was relatively easy. She did it all the totally natural way as God created us to do (apart from which we could not afford the alternative choices). I can still see his little head of black hair emerging and then hear his cries of indignation at being exposed to the light and air! He was the most beautiful baby! Perfect.
My heart was lost.
Permanently.
Angel and Damien were the focus of all of us in the theatre. I have no idea what anybody else in that theatre looked like or what they were doing. All I had eyes for were Angel and baby Damien. He had lots of dark hair where my babies were all so fair and had very little hair until they were nearly two!
I was intrigued by what happened to our new born baby once he was born, because even after four of my own natural births I had never seen or thought about it. The suctioning, the wiping clean, the keeping warm, the weighing, the measuring, the checking of reflexes – let me tell you, new born babies are as hard to measure as a wriggling python! It amused me immensely to see them attempting to measure our squirming little Damien! Even then he was wiggling and squirming around!
Then off we went to the nursery where he was dressed and I had the huge honour of giving my first grandchild a bottle of some or other liquid to drink, to cuddle him and breathe in the amniotic smell of a new baby. That intimate smell only lasts for a short time (thereafter they smell like Elizabeth Anne babies!!).
My attention was drawn away from our little dark haired bundle to the smiling new fathers in the nursery. No, not smiling, BEAMING, shining, bursting with pride and joy! The sensation of excitement in the nursery was almost tangible. I finally dragged myself away from drooling over my precious Damien to telephone his ‘Grampa’ to fetch me. I fully grasp the reason why we always get the news of a new baby so long after the birth. When you are the father it feels like a matter of a few seconds before you get to call anyone.
I popped in to see how Angel was. I was so elated by my experience I could have done cartwheels in the corridor! Angel was fine, Damien was fine and I was buzzing with a current of joy, amazement and love for my little grandson. As usual Duck’s common sense prevailed and he dragged me away at five a.m. to get some rest. We were going to visit later after all!
Rest! With all that excitement in my heart and soul? Not easily I can assure you! I ran on adrenalin for the next few days.
I have never said thank you, dearest Angel-mine, for having me with you, for bestowing such an honour on me. Circumstances happened so that it panned out that way I know. It does not make me any less grateful for the privilege of sharing such a precious moment in time with you and your Damien. I am thankful to my Father above for blessing me with such an almighty experience.
Damien – thank you for your loving nature. Your beautiful brown eyes, warm smile and huge hugs give me so much joy! You have a very special piece of my heart. It’s the part with you imprinted on it, so please, be a good person, be cautious in your decisions and take good care of my piece of heart okay?

Also check out Angel's blog, this piece was written by her "mommy darling" as frequently refered to in her blog.

Baby Wearing

2007-06-05T07:54:00.000+02:00

by Chris and Ashley Wilson

After being introduced to a baby sling with the birth of our second child, we realized what we had missed out on with our first born. The bonding and nurturing opportunities offered to Adam definitely resulted in a happier and more confident baby, not to mention the comfort and warmth afforded during those extremely chilly winter months - both our children are winter babies.

Having being stopped many times by current and prospective parents in search of a similar product we realized the total unavailability of anything remotely similar in South Africa. Having made several enquiries to import an affordable sling we realized that in order to provide a high quality product at a reasonable price it would have to be manufactured locally. Having looked at the options we realized that with some improvements our then baby sling would provide the best base to develop from. Coming from a zero knowledge of the textile industry proved challenging but we knew that we had a wonderful product and were determined on producing it. It took over a year and several manufactures to finally produce the quality product we were looking for. aSling is 100% cotton and 100% produced in Cape Town, and is a refinement of a centuries old concept.

We have seen first hand the ongoing benefits of using aSling. Besides being hands free for the parent from birth; you are providing the best support for your baby’s developing hips and spine. aSling has been designed to reduce stress on parents neck, back and shoulders, aids sleep and allows for discreet breast feeding. Colic and reflux reduction has been widely reported by users of aSling.

It has been fantastic to have produced something that has been so well received. Having being determined to produce a high quality product, we are continually encouraged by the extremely positive feedback we receive.

To those readers who have supported us, a huge thank you and many years of happy parenting.

http://www.babyslings.co.za/

Keeping Baby Close

2007-06-05T07:19:00.000+02:00

From the Editor’s Desk

Baby wearing is just another one of those facets of attachment parenting that I am passionate about. It just feels so right, your baby nestled in close to your heart! After 9 months in your body what can be more natural than to nurture your baby right against it. Baby is happy and secure and mom’s hands are free to do what she needs to, it just makes everything easier, including nursing. Now don’t get me wrong baby wearing is not for moms only, my husband still carries our little one often.

Baby wearing is something that comes naturally to many cultures – just look at our African ladies wearing their babies on their backs – these babies cry less and just look so content. Westerners are finally starting to see baby wearing for the wonderful attachment tool it is. While there is loads of info overseas about baby wearing there is still sadly little knowledge about this in SA.

I have been wearing my youngest who is now a year old since birth, we have gone through different carriers in the different stages my son went through. When he was a newborn a sling worked well, but he soon started to dislike being so enclosed. I tried several of the commercially available carriers, but they just did not work for me and left my son’s legs dangling which is not healthy for hip development. I then discovered the Khanyisa African Baby carrier which till this day we can use comfortably for prolonged periods. We alternate this with a sling which, now that he can sit up in it he just loves.

While it may not always be easy to find the right carrier and some trial and error may be necessary, once you find the right carrier you will never look back. I only wish I knew about slings when my older son was small, he like most babies did not much like being in a pram and I spent a lot of time simply carrying him.

Some further reading:

There are now several slings and carriers available in South Africa that are made locally. Among these is the African Baby Carrier and aSling.

Earthbabies who we featured a short while ago have some lovely info on baby wearing and some great carriers and slings.

Writers Block

2007-06-04T09:49:00.000+02:00

by Annie Austin

I have been seemingly suffering from writers block...
But then at three o’clock this morning it dawned on me, I am not in fact suffering from writers block! But instead from sheer utter exhaustion! The mind numbing kind of exhaustion that renders one incapable of walking up-right let alone stringing a cohesive sentence together, why do you ask am I walking around in this dazed state? What was I doing up at 3am? Could it have something to do with a certain adorable little boy who recently turned one and is sprouting yet another molar? The very same little angel who now lies sleeping in my arms, my breast firmly in his mouth, while I one handedly type this? I look down at his precious angelic face and my heart just melts all over again.

Looking around our toy strewn study, I once again think about what a wonderful roller-coaster ride the last year has been. Hurricane Ryan landed here abouts on the 4th May 2006 and has steadily been gaining momentum with every new skill acquired.

The reason I say ‘our’ study is that my sons and I share a study – we homeschool and it is easier to have everything in one room – I am sure our house-keeper who probably lives in a home smaller than our kitchen finds our living arrangements most amusing. You see we also co-sleep and with the birth of Ryan our eldest has decided that he does not like being ‘left out’ and started sleeping in our room too. So while we live in a huge old farm house most of the rooms are unused while we all sleep in one room and spend the vast majority of our day either outside or in the study.

Yes, I have a house-keeper (shock horror gasp – not very crunchy indeed!!), but I am a work at home mom (WAHM) who needs to work several hours a day, educate and love two growing boys and look after my family, find time to write; and edit this blog. Somehow house work just does not fit into the equation. As much as I am capable of multi-tasking I have not yet found the secret to being in more than one place at a time, and until I do I have a house-keeper.

So here I sit on an unseasonably wet and cold autumn Saturday wondering just what the future holds for my nearest and dearest, will their kids too have the luxury of growing up on a farm – or will life as we now know it no longer exist? Will they get to run outside in the sun, or will the atmosphere have been destroyed so much that being out in the sun will be impossible? While many people choose not to think about global warming and what the human race is doing to this planet, one look at my children is all I need to know that unless we all do something drastic here and now, they face a future far bleaker than we can even begin to imagine.

Cloth Nappies - the Modern Mothers Choice

2007-06-03T13:07:00.000+02:00

By Joanne Austin

Why converting to cloth nappies is the modern mother's choice -
For the past 20 years 95% of mothers saw disposable nappies as an essential item. This is beginning to change as we become better informed about the negative effects, as well as a result of the revolutionary way in which cloth nappies are now made. No Longer are cloth nappies considered the “poor relation of nappies”.

Here are a few good reasons why more & more mothers are either fully or partially converting to the use of cloth nappies.

There are 4 key reasons how re-usable nappies can benefit families and the world at large:

1. Environment / Reduce Waste:
One baby uses an average of 5000 nappies (or 5.4 nappy changes per day). Due to the plastic content disposables are not bio-degradable. One just needs to visualize the mountain of dirty disposables ending up on a land-fill site for every child in disposables over the past 20years to get the bigger picture. Can we really afford another 20/ 30/40/ 100 years of the same?
Just 20-24 re-usable nappies are needed. Washing them at 60C in an energy efficient washing machine helps reduce the global warming impact.
The "poo" in nappies mixed together with household waste lets off a gas called methane; which contributes to global warming.

Sanitary landfill sites are not designed or permitted to contain faeces and therefore have no solution to the growing number of dirty disposable nappies ending up at the dump. Basically "poo" belongs in the "loo"; which then goes through the sewerage system for downstream treatment.

In South Africa it is known that whole families live around landfill sites. Dirty disposables add to the risk of disease spreading to these vulnerable communities. There is also a risk of ground water contamination when the contents of the disposables seep through the earth.

Cape Town is currently facing a major landfill airspace crisis. Two years ago 6 landfills were operational, and a few months from now we will have only 3 operational. Of the 3 landfills, Bellville will close in approximately 2013, Coastal Park approximately 2022 and Vissershok in about 2017. Household waste is increasing by a rate 4 - 5% higher than the growing population rate in the Cape. The more affluent an area becomes the greater the amount of waste disposed in that area. Affluent areas generally use more disposable nappies and our supermarkets are reporting record sales in disposables. There are some smaller municipalities in the Western Cape with even bigger problems than Cape Town. Some will be closing in approximately 6 months time with no alternative solution.

The Johannesburg City area also has a crisis at hand.

Ten top tips to help the environment when using cloth nappies (WEN, UK):·
o Use an energy efficient washing machine.
o Wash soiled nappies at 60 degrees c.
o Wash wet nappies and waterproof covers at lower temperatures along with the rest of your laundry.
o Avoid tumble drying – hang nappies out to dry.
o Avoid soaking – store wet nappies dry in a lidded bucket.
o Avoid using unnecessary chemicals such as conditioners and sanitizers Useaneco-detergent.
o Never iron nappies (or covers).
o Extend the life of your nappies - reuse them on another baby, or give/sell them to someone else.
o Use washable liners.

2. A Healthier Choice
Disposable nappies contain paper pulp, plastic, absorbent gels, chemical additives and perfumes. All these materials impact on the health of your child as well as the environment.

The absorbing gel in nappies (sodium polyacrylate) has not been tested for long term effects on reproductive organs from 24-hour exposure. This chemical has been banned in the use of tampons because of a link to toxic shock syndrome.

Studies at University of Kiel in Germany have raised concerns about the rise in male infertility, which they link to the use of disposable nappies. Disposable nappies have been found to maintain testicles at higher temperatures, a potential cause of lower sperm counts.

There is a misconception that disposables reduce nappy rash. In fact, research studies at Bristol University, Britain indicate that the type of nappy has no bearing on nappy rash. Frequency of change and length of exposure to ammonia in urine are the factors affecting nappy rash. Any nappy left on for too long will result in irritation to baby’s delicate skin.

3. Save Money
By washing nappies at home families could save around R7,000.00 per child (add another R10 000 if the same nappies are used on the next child). Even by incorporating cloth nappies into one’s disposable nappy system families could save thousands. Hospitals can save money too by using reusable nappies on wards where disposables incur clinical waste charges. Municipal authorities save on waste disposal expenses.

4. Modern Cloth Nappies are Trendy & User-friendly
Modern reusables have advanced considerably over the years. They are shaped and fitted and fastened without the need for pins. They come in a variety of trendy styles and patterns. Colourful or natural, plain or patterned, organic cotton or bamboo, fleece or wool - there is such a range of reusable nappies that you are bound to find something to suit your taste, budget and lifestyle.
By using the advances in technology in fabrics such as breathable waterproofing, highly absorbent and natural bamboo toweling and light-weight fabrics, reusables function better than ever. A flushable & biodegradable liner can be used inside the nappy and this can be removed so that the contents are flushed down the toilet.

Commenting on the Environment Agency report suggesting disposables and “real” nappies had a similar environmental impact. Elizabeth Hartigan of Women’s Environmental Network said “Supporters remain convinced of the benefits of washable nappies. Parents can save money and reduce waste and reduce harm to the environment. The only way parents can reduce the environmental impact when using disposable nappies is to use fewer nappies and that’s not a good idea. Using real nappies puts parents in control. All you need is a sensible washing routine to really make a difference.”

As a company Mother Nature Products aim to give parents an informed choice in an effort to minimise waste and encourage natural-style health benefits. We invest heavily on the quality and performance of our products yet maintain affordable retail prices. Our service is centered on customer care and addressing our customer’s needs. Our customers are parents and their babies from all walks of life, from all over the world.

PO box 95
Kalk Bay
7990

Tel/Fax: 021 788 9117
http://www.mothernatureproducts.co.za/

Editorial

2007-06-03T08:00:00.000+02:00

From the Editor’s Desk

Some of you may have noticed that I have changed the subscription form from Feedblitz to Zookoda. Zookoda gives me more options so that I can send out newsletters and such - making the site better for all of you. Those of you who prefer to stay on Feedblitz are more than welcome to do so. I will be keeping both systems running as long as I have subscribers in both.

Why Home Schooling, You Ask?

2007-06-02T08:33:00.000+02:00

© Written by Robyn, South Africa

Almost every day people ask me – What are your reasons for home schooling? I sit there open mouthed having a million thoughts in my heart but not one in my head. I stumble over my two sentences and feel like I have lost an opportunity to express something really important in my life.

I believe that we all choose our quality of life. We play a big role in who our children grow up to become. I feel that I am making the very best possible and informed decisions for my family and for my children. And those decisions include home schooling. Home schooling is so much more than simply doing school at home ~ it is a lifestyle. A balanced all-round education is important but what I am also hoping to instil from a young age is a love of learning that will grow with them for the rest of their lives. I want my children to understand that it doesn’t really matter what they grow up to become but who they grow up to become.

One of the most important things for a child to grow up with is a good self-image. If they have this, and truly believe in themselves, then they can do anything! Who is going to give them their self-worth, this positive understanding that who they are is enough and always will be? Who is going to teach them that it’s possible to be perfectly at peace with yourself and happy with the way life is at the moment, in the good times and the bad? That it’s good to take risks and learn from your mistakes? It’s good to believe that you can do anything, and to deal with the disappointments along the way? Are the most expensive schools going to teach them this? The best paid teachers? Or maybe their peers, the children all born within 6 months of each other? Or what about the government who choose the curriculum and run the schools? NO, I am sorry but I have decided that I am going to be the one who is going to take full responsibility for my children.

Now comes your argument ~ But don’t you think it’s necessary for a child to learn to deal with bullies, competitiveness, failure, being laughed at, judged, ridiculed by authority, exposed to all sorts, and to go through 12 years of worldly experiences so that they can become tougher, face life and cope in the ‘real’ world? I shouldn’t even need to answer that, but I will if I must. Is it not better to equip a child with a childhood of positive and happy experiences to prepare them to ‘cope’ in the real world? A positive, happy, well-balanced child with a great self image who has spent their entire childhood in a secure and loving environment where they have been understood and encouraged, praised and accepted. Will that person not be able to cope far better with the ‘real’ world? Many studies done on home-schooled children prove this very point.

This poem stuck in my mind for years, it confirmed for me that throwing children ‘in the deep end’, or letting them learn to cope is not the way I want to do things.

The Swimming Lesson ~
Feeling the icy kick, the endless waves
Reaching around my life, I moved my arms
And coughed, and in the end saw land.

Somebody, I suppose,
Remembering the medieval maxim,
Had tossed me in,
Had wanted me to learn to swim,

Not knowing that none of us, who ever came back
From that long lonely fall and frenzied rising,
Ever learned anything at all
About swimming, but only
How to put off, one by one,
Dreams and pity, love and grace,-
How to survive in any place.

~ Mary Oliver
For further information on HOMESCHOOLING IN SOUTH AFRICA:
Visit Robyn's website

ADD can increase ability to learn!

2007-06-02T07:48:00.002+02:00

By A Daddy

I have attended many lectures and workshops and listened to many teachings. Some were excellent and I was able to learn a lot. Others were the perfect breeding ground for Attention Deficit Disorder.

Now that I’m a parent, who believes that the answer for Education is at home, I have to make sure that my kids and those I talk to do not develop Attention Deficit Disorder while in my company.

How do I do that?

I have to make sure I do not develop CBS – (Continuous Boredom Syndrome).

Now, we all know that boredom is one of the biggest enemies we have to fight when we have to, or even want to, learn.

And what’s the main cause of boredom?

You guessed it.

Style! The style of the one who has to ensure that learning takes place.

So, if that’s true, how does one ensure that one’s style is not boring?

Good question. I’m glad you asked.

The answer is very easy.

Study the Master Teacher and imitate Him.

So what are the characteristics of His style?

I’ll tell you in a moment.

But first I would like to submit that He may have encouraged ADD.

Don’t look surprised. ADD is a good thing!

It stands for:

AUTHORIZATION to DISCOURAGE DULLNESS.

And if you focus on that it will increase your ability to learn.

Right, back to the style.

It is my belief that no one who listened to the Master Teacher was ever bored.

And He learned from His dad, who incidentally is also my Dad.

And all of us have the privilege to learn from both of them.

I’ll give you a couple of characteristics of their style – Bruce Wilkinson introduced me to it – and if you use it appropriately and in consultation with them, results are guaranteed.

Here they are:

Their style was and still is:

Memorable – Think of the rainbow – not just talking, but also showing a memorable picture
Unexpected – How many times have you heard a donkey speak?
Visual – Think of Daniel’s dream
Unique – Angels announcing the Birth of our Savior
Multi-sensory – How many senses do you think was utilized during those ten plagues?
Captivating – Very few people would not concentrate if a hand writes on a wall.
Incarnational – Don’t just talk – Do what you say.

Now how many cases of Attention Deficit Disorder would have been diagnosed if we incorporated all off the above in our style?

Probably none!

So let’s start promoting ADD – AUTHORIZATION to DISCOURAGE DULLNESS.

Now if you’d like to have some more exposure to this – attend one of my workshops.

Topics that will be discussed: What is Home Education, Legal aspects, Reasons to Home Educate, Developing the whole person, 21st Century education and how it should be different and much, much more.

We look forward to hearing from you.

What is this “thing” called Home Education?

2007-06-02T07:25:00.000+02:00

By A Daddy

Based on some recent discussions I was involved in, I believe it might be useful to have a fresh look at “Home Education”.

So, in this article we’ll have a quick glance at its definition in terms of the Schools Act which reads as follows:

“The learner receiving education at the learner’s own home.”

Not a bad definition. Incomplete, but not bad!

So let’s analyse it a bit by asking some questions! (I’ll give very short, introductory answers to these questions.)

Question 1 - What is a learner?
(This is a fairly easy question. The answer is also not difficult.)
A learner is someone who learns!

Question 2 – If there is a learner, does that imply a teacher?
Probably, yes. However, the teacher does not necessarily have to be a physical person.

Question 3 – What is then the role of the teacher?
(This is another fairly easy question, but the answer could be complicated, because the role of a teacher is not to teach.)
The role of the teacher is to ensure that learning takes place, (i.e. not to deliver content).

Question 4 – What is education?
The Latin word being EDUCARE means “leading out” or “leading forth”
In short this means – Do not try to put in that which was left out, rather get out that which was put in!

Question 5 – Does a learner/teacher need a curriculum?
Absolutely, yes!

Question 6 – What is a curriculum?
A curriculum is a course of action, (i.e. not a set of books).

Needless to say a course of action is only important if you know where you’re going. If you do not know where you’re going any road will take you there.

Question 7 – Where does training fit in, or do we only educate our kids?
We should train up a child in the way he should go. That follows that training is crucial. (More on this in a later article.)

Question 8 - What is a home? (Do not confuse it with a house.)
A home is a place where you feel safe, where there is a wonderful AROMA, where one receives one’s heritage. A place where every individual has found and fulfils his/her role. (More on this in a later article as well.)

Enough for now.

If you are interested in attending a workshop where we will have a fresh look at this and many more aspects of home education, please call and you can attend one of my workshops.
In the workshops we discuss and think about many issues which parents face on a day to day basis. These issues include legal aspects, socialization, sport, academics, making sure you have a balance. How do we stay relevant in the world we live in? Overview of the educational environment in SA. Reasons to home school. The primary needs of kids and developing the whole person. What to teach and what to avoid. Introduction to learning styles and thinking preferences. Different purchased curriculum and how to approach it. And much, much more …

If you would like to contact Niell (aka A Daddy) please leave a comment and we will get back to you...

Breast has finally topped bottle-feeding – even for babies born to HIV positive mothers

2007-06-01T11:32:00.000+02:00

Cross-posted from the HIVAN website (http://www.hivan.org.za/). Originally published by Health-E News Service (www.health-e.org.za).

Author: Kerry Cullinan

For years, there has been a battle over the best way to protect babies born to HIV positive mothers living in poor areas from getting the virus – which has essentially boiled down to a battle between those who advocate breast feeding and those who advocate bottle-feeding with milk formula.

As breastmilk can transmit HIV, global policy was weighted in favour of bottle feeding and HIV positive mothers were discouraged from breastfeeding.

But a big study from KwaZulu-Natal led by Professors Jerry Coovadia and Nigel Rollins and published on Friday (30 March) seems to have finally settled the debate in favour of the breast.

They found that babies who were exclusively breastfed by their HIV positive mothers were at substantially less risk of becoming infected than babies given both breastmilk and formula milk or solids.

This is excellent news for HIV positive mothers living in poor areas without easy access to clean water and effective ways of sterilising bottles.

The formula milk position was all very well in the developed world and middle-class suburbia, where mothers with HIV who opt for bottle-feeding can get clean water to mix the formula.

But it was not geared for rural South Africa or urban informal settlements where the supply of clean water is not guaranteed and where it is simply impractical to boil water every time to sterilise baby bottles.

However, up until now, government’s policy has favoured the bottle by offering mothers with HIV free formula milk.

The proviso was that she had to have access to clean water – but who was checking?

Besides, what poor mother would turn down free milk formula, even if she planned to breastfeed?

In fact, researchers found that most mothers opting for the formula were unemployed and that at least a quarter of them admitted to selling it as they were desperate for income, so there was little benefit to their babies.

For Professors Coovadia, Rollins and colleagues at the Africa Centre for Health and Population Studies and the University of KwaZulu-Natal’s Medical School, offering free formula was a dangerous policy.

HIV positive mothers who opted for the free formula usually ended up both breastfeeding and bottle feeding.But research published in 1999 by Dr Anna Coutsoudis, also from Durban, suggested that this “mixed feeding” was the most dangerous form of feeding for newborn babies with HIV positive mothers.

It damages the mucosal lining of the babies’ intestines, making them vulnerable to the virus.

There was also the added risk of bottlefed babies dying of gastro-intestinal infections caused by dirty water or unsterilised bottles.

In the past, long before the HIV epidemic, Coovadia had been actively involved in campaigns against Nestle and other big companies that were promoting formula milk in this country because babies in poor households were so vulnerable to gastric infections.In addition, the physical benefits of breastmilk on building babies’ immune systems as well as the psychological benefit of breastfeeding in encouraging mother-baby bonding has been well established.

So even in the face of HIV, he and his colleagues were deeply uneasy about breastfeeding being undermined in favour of formula milk precisely because the risk of diarrhoea was high and often fatal for little babies.

They thus painstakingly investigated the risks that the different feeding options being used by over 1 000 HIV positive mothers in KwaZulu-Natal posed for passing HIV on to their babies from birth to six months.

The study was big, initially involving 2 722 HIV positive and negative women at seven rural and two urban sites.

All the women were counselled about the value of exclusive breastfeeding, and the majority opted to do just that.

In addition, all HIV positive mothers were given Nevirapine during labour and their babies at birth.

Their study, which was published in the prestigious Lancet journal, found that the risk of HIV transmission to babies exclusively breastfed by their HIV positive mothers up to the age of six months was 4%.In contrast, babies who were given breastmilk and solids were almost 11 times more likely to get HIV, while babies who had both breast and formula milk had double the risk of HIV infection as those only on the breast.

In addition, deaths among babies who were formula fed were more than double that of exclusively breastfed babies by three months.

Many of these deaths were not related to HIV but were the result of diarrhoea.

Six percent of the babies that were exclusively breastfed were dead by three months of age, while 15% of babies who were given replacement foods were dead.

The Lancet has hailed the study as a “breakthrough”, describing it as “meticulous” and “providing crucial confirmatory evidence” that exclusive breastfeeding poses a low risk of HIV infection for babies.

While a significant number of the babies died during the study, this relates to the fact that 14% of the babies were HIV positive already – either infected while inside their mothers’ wombs or during birth, not through breastmilk.

Three-quarters of the deaths were as a result of AIDS-related illnesses.

Babies were most likely to get HIV if their mothers had advanced HIV infection, associated with low CD4 counts (measure of immunity in the blood) and large amounts of the virus in their blood.

Food for breastfeeding moms

2007-06-01T11:17:00.000+02:00

Cross-posted from the HIVAN website (http://www.hivan.org.za/). Originally published by Health-E News Service (www.health-e.org.za).

Author: Kerry Cullinan

Food parcels are finally being offered to HIV positive mothers in KwaZulu-Natal who want to exclusively breastfeed their babies as part of a new government policy.

In the past, positive mothers were advised to either exclusively formula feed or, in cases where there was no supply of clean water, to exclusively breastfeed to protect their babies from getting HIV.

But while free formula milk was dished out, no practical support was offered to those who wanted to breastfeed.

The mothers, particularly those who were poor, tended to see the formula milk as an incentive. They then tended to opt to get the formula milk and feed their babies both breast and formula milk – the most risky feeding choice for passing on HIV.

An exuberant Professor Nigel Rollins, head of the Centre for Maternal and Child Health at the University of KwaZulu-Natal, said he was “delighted” that government had chosen to help HIV positive breastfeeding women meet their increased nutritional needs (of breastfeeding) by offering six months’ worth of food parcels.

The food parcels help to level the playing field as counsellors can now offer HIV positive women either food packages if they choose to breastfeed or free formula for their baby if they have the resources at home to safely prepare and give formula.

“In the past, government policy was weighted in favour of formula feeding, yet research shows that babies of HIV positive mothers who are exclusively breastfed are at far lower risk of getting HIV than babies who are mix-fed both formula and breastmilk,” said Rollins.

Rollins can well feel pleased, as it is largely thanks to him, Professors Jerry Coovadia Anna Coutsoudis and Dr Ruth Bland that government has changed its policy to support and encourage breastfeeding.

As breastmilk can transmit HIV, government has been reluctant in the past to promote it. However, Rollins, Coovadia, Coutsoudis and others have tirelessly conducted a number of studies to show that exclusive breastfeeding posed a relatively small danger to babies of HIV positive mothers. Their latest and most comprehensive study (see adjoining article) quantifies this risk at 4% by the time babies are six months old.In contrast, the risk of HIV for babies who get formula and breastmilk is double this, while the risk for babies who get breastmilk and food is 11 times that of the exclusively breastfed babies.

“In the light of our research, we have been calling for government to review its policy and to offer more tangible support to breastfeeding HIV positive mothers,” said Rollins. The first indication that government had taken note of the research was found in the final draft of government’s new national HIV/AIDS strategic plan, which was adopted at a consultative meeting two weeks’ ago.

The plan announced that HIV positive moms choosing to breastfeed would be offered “nutritional support”. The KwaZulu-Natal health department has moved at lightning speed to implement this change in policy. The food parcels being offered are substantial, consisting of mielie meal, enriched porridge, rice, beans, soya mince, milk, peanut butter, tinned fish, sunflower oil, sugar and salt.

Rollins said that breastfeeding was demanding on all women, but that HIV positive mothers had greater nutritional needs and tended to lose more fat than HIV negative mothers. The health of babies being exclusively breastfed is inextricably tied to the health of their mothers, so the babies will benefit from the food parcels as their mothers will be healthier. In addition, babies are most likely to get HIV when their mothers’ levels of immunity (CD4 count) is low so the food parcels will help to keep mothers healthy and less prone to infections – particularly if boosted with antiretroviral treatment for their mothers.

“In the past, the formula milk was perceived by mothers from poor households as a way to gain financially,” said Rollins. “But over a quarter of the mothers diluted the formula too much, and we found E.coli bacteria (which causes diarrhoea) in almost two-thirds of the bottles that mothers were giving to their babies right there in the clinic.” Researchers also found that at least a quarter of the mothers sold the formula milk as they were desperate for money.

“The food parcels being offered are very substantial and a real asset for women choosing to exclusively breastfeed,” said Rollins. There is, of course, a strong likelihood that the food will be used to feed entire families not just the HIV positive mothers. But at least the benefit will be kept within the family, unlike the sold formula milk. And the breastfeeding mothers will certainly get some of the benefits.

Eve’s dropping

2007-06-01T10:52:00.000+02:00

by Kyknoord

I took a week off work to spend some quality time with Kyknoord Junior, while my ex-wife used this temporary respite to try and round up the scattered remnants of her sanity. A rather pointless exercise, in my opinion. I don’t think sanity is particularly useful when it comes to child-rearing.

Overheard at the Muizenberg municipal swimming pool - uttered by a mother who was concerned that her young son was straying too close to the deep end (obviously she wasn’t sufficiently concerned to actually get up and drag him to safety, but still…): “There are sharks there. They’re going to eat your pipi off!” Judging by the speed at which he moved into the shallows, I would guess that the seed that will ultimately grow into a tangled hedge of hang-ups has been successfully planted and watered. A mother’s love is beautiful thing, is it not? Actually, I understand the woman’s lackadaisical attitude entirely. Protecting toddlers from their own relentless self-destructive tendencies can be exhausting.

Of course, when kiddies aren’t engaged in the serious business of engineering their own demise, their favourite game in the whole world is Insert Daddy’s Last Nerve Into The Nuclear-Powered Fraying Machine. Had you been in the vicinity of Casa Kyknoord during the past week, you would have been witness to this little scene, which played out between me and Junior (with minor variations) around lunch time every day:
“Are you hungry?’
“No”
“Do you want a sandwich?”
”No!!”
“Well, okay then. I’ll eat it myself, shall I?”
“WAAAHAAA!!! I wanna sangwidge!”

I sh!t you not. Every. Single. Day. I think it’s the female ability to multitask that makes them better parents than men. The rational part of their brain is better equipped to override the instinctive strangulation commands issued to the hands by the emotional centres of the cortex.
Parenthood, it would seem, is somewhat reminiscent of looking for a gas-leak with a lit match. The consequences are often not fully understood until it is too late. This is probably a good thing, because if people had the vaguest clue about what they were letting themselves in for, the very survival of the species would be in jeopardy.

Minister implies Pioneers on track!?

2007-06-01T08:45:00.000+02:00

By A Daddy

In this follow-up article I shall address some of the other areas which I found of interest during the Minister of Education, Naledi Pandor's presentation at the GIBS Forum Event of 17 August 2005.
The presentation was mainly to people in the large business sector. The topic was - "Transforming Education in South Africa".
The minister mentioned some action and focus areas which she said the Department is working on.

These focus areas are the following:

To provide a basic educational foundation for kids. This includes reading, writing, and maths. To address the resource problems. Although there is a severe lack of teachers, there are also some schools that do not even have basic facilities such as toilets. Resources include these as well as many other needs.
To expand grade R so that the department would have 10 years of compulsory school attendance.
To successfully implement the new curriculum with a specific focus on maths and science. She acknowledged that there were initially a few implementation problems, but according to her most of these are now sorted out.
To recapitalize and develop FET institutions.
The improve on the scarcity of research and development projects in South Africa.

The floor was then opened for comments, questions and remarks.
Remarks and responses thereto included the following:

There are 920 teacher education quality assurance programs. (This probably does not make standardization an easy task.)
Regarding ABET the Minister believes the country needs a mass illiteracy campaign.
Something was mentioned about e-learning. There's apparently an e-learning policy - (E-learning sounds like something that can be done at home. This should be positive for home-schooling!?)
Someone said that graduates should be jobless as they have to create jobs. That's when Sam, the toilet man, told his story.
At that stage someone alleged that matric results are being tampered with. Maybe even adjusted upwards "slightly" as skills do not support grades.
Although the Minister denied all of these she did mention that South Africa should perhaps, like other countries, have an entrance exam for Universities. Why should South Africa be so "special" that we do not have one?
I then thought she said that one should focus on things such as reading, writing, maths and SA History for such a year and not specialize immediately e.g. BCom, BA, etc. as is currently the case. She later denied that she said it when a lady from a placement agency confronted her with this.
There was also some mention of assistance for people with disabilities and that little was being done in this regard.

I perceived most of the comments from the public to have a little bit of a negative bend which indicated to me that SA business was generally not ecstatic about the state of the educational system.

However, what's very pleasing is the fact that the Minister really seems interested in education.

She's generally looking out for the best interest of the kids of South Africa?

Based on this I will assume that the Minister should not have a problem with home-education.

In conclusion, Professor Gill Marcus of Gordon Institute of Business Science (who previously held positions of inter alia deputy Governor of the South African Reserve Bank and Deputy Minister of Finance), was part of the audience and wished to make a few closing remarks.
During this she made a challenge which went something like this:
"People in South Africa have now identified problems in the educational system. Let's stop looking at the Department of Education to solve these problems and ask ourselves: What am I going to do about the situation?"

Together with me, all the other home-schoolers in the audience probably said to themselves:
"Wow, I have already risen to the challenge - I have taken responsibility - I educate my kids at home!"

So, what I really want to get to is this following:
Our generation is the first generation of legal home-schoolers in South Africa. We are therefore pioneers. Pioneers explore un-chartered territory.
Now, although we have to make sure that we do not fall into some of the pit-falls of home-education there is one thing that we do not have to worry about and that is:

We do not have to be concerned that we are not giving our kids a good education.

Even if education was just about academics, which it's not, we would still pass with flying colors.

New Writer Intro

2007-06-01T08:43:00.000+02:00

From the Editor’s Desk

I am happy to introduce another new writer, Robyn.
She is a home-schooling mom to two girls.

Visit her informational website:
http://www.robynshomeschool.co.za/

Third grader can excel in graduate position!

2007-06-01T08:42:00.000+02:00

By A Daddy

I attended a GIBS Forum Event in August 2005 where the Minister of Education, Naledi Pandor, made a presentation on the topic - "Transforming Education in South Africa."
She discussed a few action and focus areas which she said the Department is working on. (Sounds a bit like Liberty - we're working on it.) Many of her comments, which I shall not address in this article, were very comforting to me as a home-schooler from a legal point of view as she clearly indicated that the "system" still lacks the means to lay an adequate basic foundation for children.
However, the topic which I'd like to touch on in this article applies to the real world.
A young black man, if I recall correctly his name is Sam, made an interesting contribution in response to the Minister's statement that some 15% of graduates in South Africa are unemployed.
Sam said that he started a business that employs some 290 people. Some of his employees are graduates. Most of them love their work, do it well and are paid a decent salary. So what is this business? Wait for it….
They clean toilets for companies.
Am I degrading cleaning toilets?
No, of course not. Toilet cleaning services are as essential as any other service one can think of. What this young man did was to identify a need, come up with a solution and he now provides a service to companies. That is called problem solving.
So what's the point I'm trying to make?
The point is - One does not need a degree to come up with a solution to a problem!
However, should one come up with a solution to a problem, it seems like there are many graduates around who would be more than willing to work for you!
Am I against having a degree?
No, I have one myself.
The point is - A qualification does not guarantee success!
If it did, would we have 15% unemployed graduates in a country which says it so desperately lack skills?

Every Child – A Masterpiece

2007-05-29T00:35:00.000+02:00

By A Daddy

Some time ago I had the privilege to present workshops for a certain well know organization. One of the people involved in my training for the workshops was a guy called Brad Sadler.

He was one of the best speakers I had ever heard. I was a little intimidated by the thought that I had to do presentation on the same topic as he did in weeks to come.

So after his presentation I said to him: Brad, my background is not as bad as yours. I’ve not done as many bad things as you have. I’ve not committed any crime that I ended up in prison for. I’ll have to use some of your stories during my presentations.

Brad didn’t even hear me. He just went on about how wonderful life was and nobody really cared too much about the stories. What they liked about him is that he gave them hope.

I went on to do the workshops and before most of these Brad would phone or send a sms or do some or other thing to encourage me.

And when my workshops went very well Brad was delighted and if it went very bad Brad was ecstatic. Whatever happened, Brad was overjoyed.

Gee, I haven’t spoken to him for more than a year. Hold the thought; I’m quickly going to phone him.

…

I’m back. I feel great. Obviously I’ll feel great. I’ve just spoken to Brad.

Now, you might wonder why I’m telling you this.

I’m telling you because Brad is an exhorter. He is what one might call vintage exhorter. One of the best I’ve seen. Definitely the best I have personally met. I have a daughter that is a little like that. Always ready to encourage everyone.

And that’s great, but we are all different.

I’m not saying we should not all encourage each other. I’m just saying – We are all different!

Some are perceivers.
Some are servants.
Some are teachers.
Some are exhorters.
Some are givers.
Some are administrators, and
Some love to give mercy.

Then again the perceivers, teachers, exhorters and administrators generally love to express themselves with words and the servants, givers and mercy people love to express themselves with deeds.

So if you have a little teacher in your home, you might struggle to get his mouth shut. But if you have a little servant, you might struggle to get his mouth open.

Many people do not understand this and then they think there is something wrong if a child either doesn’t talk or talks too much.

But that’s not the only place where people are different.

We also have different ways to remember things – Some remember visually, some auditory, some kinesthetically and some tactile.

Then we all also interact with information differently – Some are analytical and some are global.

Wait, there’s more – Howard Gardner came up with the concept of Multiple Intelligences. That is really just different ways people are smart. Just seven of the ways you can be brilliant is as follows – Linguistic, Logical-Mathematical, Spatial, Musical, Bodily-Kinesthetic, Interpersonal and intrapersonal.

And then we also have different thinking preferences. That has to do with your left and right brain.

And as if that’s not enough people also have different dominance profiles. That means they have dominant eyes, ears, hands, feet and so on. And depending on your dominance, you will have a different style.

And by the way, everyone then likes to do things at different times of the day, at different temparatures with different shades of light. It just goes on and on.

Right, I’ll stop now. Although there are probably thousands of other differences and unique little things about every individual which no one even knows about yet, I think I have made the point.
Every individual is a work of art and can be a spectacular success.

So please don’t be discouraged or overwhelmed. I didn’t say this to confuse you or frustrate you. I told you the above for one reason and one reason only.

Every child is a masterpiece. And your little masterpiece has a role to play and a place to fit.

And there is no way that anyone can give you a quick model answer on how to train up your child. And don’t ever dare to compare your child with any other child.

It takes wisdom, time, patience and perseverance and probably a few other attributes in that category to get the answer and complete the marathon.

So keep on. If you struggle, ask for help. Don’t give up. Don’t worry. Don’t try to be perfect – But definitely be real.

And always remember – “You were born an original, don’t die a copy.”

New Writer Intro

2007-05-28T02:43:00.000+02:00

From the Editor’s Desk

I would like to introduce a writer who has graciously agreed to share some of his work with us. He prefers to simply refer to himself as 'A Daddy', I have thoroughly enjoyed his writing and am sure you will all too. Look out for his writing in the very near future.

This is a brief bio he sent me of himself:
"I qualified as a Chartered Accountant in 1997. Currently I have my own business – I assist insurance companies with tax, I present workshops on home education (haven’t recently though), I am a brain practitioner, i.e. I do brain profiles and help parents understand themselves and their children better, or help other people who have lost their passion in life. I write articles, mainly on education and to parents, wherein I like to challenge popular thinking, which in most cases are no thinking at all. I study logic and try to base everything I say and do on the Word. I am also an ulconsiologist, WAM and MAP.
That’s me.
My wife is Marie, who with her gift of mercy brings a lot of balance to our household..
We have three children:
Adelene (10), who is a very strong perceiver with a left brain preference.
Natania (7) who is an exhorter with a right brain preferenece.
Christiaan (5) who is a compassion person with a right brain preference.
We expect Migael to arrive on 07-07-07"

South African Homeschool curriculum

2007-05-27T08:51:00.000+02:00

by Wendy Young

Part of being a parent is ensuring that your children get the best education that you can give them. For some it means private schools, others may prefer a Christian school, but in South Africa there is a huge growing community of homeschoolers. www.south-african-homeschool-curriculum.com helps this community to raise their children according to Godly standards, get organized in your home, develop long lasting relationships with knowledge and offers you a wonderful literature based curriculum, Footprints On Our Land, to use with your children. Footprints On Our Land gives you a magnificent arm chair journey through South Africa and its history, stopping to discover the geography and people of this land. There are three programs - Little Footprints (Ages 4 -8), South Africa's Heritage (Ages 7 - 12) and Footprints into the 21st Century (Ages 12 - 16). Shirley and Wendy, owners of www.south-african-homeschool-curriculum.com , also have a FREE monthly encouragement E-zine for homeschool families. Be sure to visit.

See Dr Aletha Solter on TV

2007-05-25T09:05:00.000+02:00

From the Editor’s Desk

Finally something worth watching on TV!!
E-tv's television program GREAT EXPECTATIONS will air a live interview with Dr. Aletha Solter Monday, 28 May 2007, from 11:30am-12:30pm.

If you were not able to attend Aletha's lectures but would have liked to, here's one last chance to hear her speak about raising children before she leaves South Africa.

Dr Solter is a Swiss American developmental psychologist, international speaker, consultant and author of four books (The Aware Baby, Helping Young Children Flourish, Tears and Tantrums, Raising Drug-Free Kids)

The Aware Parenting Institute

Prayer request for a very sick little girl

2007-05-25T09:01:00.000+02:00

Our Father who Art in Heaven
Please hear our prayers for Marinda
Lay Your healing hands upon her
and take away all the pain and illness
and make her well again
In Your name we ask that You
shall touch her with Your powers.

Amen

Hemelse Vader
Raak asseblied Marinda aan
Lê asseblief U hand van genesing op haar
en neem asseblief al die pyn weg
en maak haar gesond
In U Naam vra ons dat U haar
sal aanraak en ons dank U

Amen

Most people delete chain prayers but we ask you to please partake in this one, as this little girl is close to home and one of our own here in Eshowe.

Our sweet angel Marinda de Jager has been so ill, she was hositalised with broncital pneumonia at least a month ago, but has been struggling for longer, where her lungs were said to be badly damaged, she was in hospital for two weeks and was put on string of medication, but unfortuantely she was admitted back in hospital yesterday, she is battling to breathe, cant sleep and is not eating, she still has the bacteria, the antibioticts that she was taking has not helped and the doctors now need to try and work out what bacteria is in the system as to give her the right antibiotic, her lungs are full of holes and she is in pain. The doctors presume that she will have to take antibiotics for the rest of her life to help her lungs as the chances of healing is virually nil.

All we as a family ask is that you please add her to your prayers and thoughts:

Thank you

Parents Karin, Deon and Morne de Jager
Ouma Barbara
Ronel, Mark,
Gerhard, Charmaine, Noelene and Tanye
Ouma Maddy Oupa Gert
Eugene, Denise, Charlene and Bridget

Meeste van die mense "delete" gewoonlik ketting gebede, maar ons vra dat julle asseblief net 'n oomblik van julle tyd afstaan op hierdie een want die kleine engeltjie is baie na aan ons harte en tuiste hier in Eshowe.

Kleine Marinda wil net nie gesond word nie, so 'n maand of wat gelede was sy in Umhlanga Hosipaal vir Brongiale brongietis, vir 2 weke, haar longe is so beskadig weens die brongietis, sy was op 'n reeks pille en ongelukkig het die medikasie nie gehelp nie, nou is sy weer terug in die hospitaal want sy kan nie asem kry nie, sy slaap nie en eet nie, en is in pyn, haar longe is so beskadig met gate dat sy lewenslank op antibiotikas gaan moet bly

Al wat ons as familie vra is dat julle asseblief haar in julle gebede en gedagte sal hou in julle besige dag.

Dankie

Ouers Karin, Deon and Morne de Jager
Ouma Barbara
Ronel, Mark,
Gerhard, Charmaine, Noelene and Tanye
Ouma Maddy Oupa Gert
Eugene Denise Charlene and Bridget

Cooking Kids

2007-05-25T07:12:00.000+02:00

by Annie Austin

My 10yo son has decided to learn to cook; we have incorporated it into his homeschooling activities – after all what is cooking if not reading, maths and science all rolled into one.

Here is one of his favorite recipes, it is easy to make with some supervision and tasty enough for the whole family to eat. This Veggie Bolognese is enjoyed by everyone in our family from my 1 year old to the adults to the cats and dogs!!

My son now does most of the preparation himself (including cutting onions and putting the pasta into the boiling water, but you can let kids do as much or as little as they are up to doing – even just measuring some of the ingredients is a maths lesson)!

Veggie Bolognese Sauce and Pasta:

For the Sauce
1 cup red split peas
2 large carrots
2 sticks celery
1 onion
1 tbsp olive oil
500ml veggie stock
250ml tomato ‘sauce’
Salt to taste
Fresh parsley & oregano

I usually make my own stock and tomato sauce (see next entry) but this can be the store bought kind if you prefer. The carrots, celery and onion come straight from the garden as do the stock and tomato sauce ingredients.

Let the kids start by washing their hands and donning their aprons (look out for child size apron pattern soon!!). Then wash all the veggies, peel the onion, top and tail the carrots.

The veggies can now be either mixed or grated in a food processor – kids love this part and it is something even the little ones can safely do.

Heat the oil somewhat in a pan, remove the pan from the heat (I usually let my son put the pan on a heatproof pot holder on the table next to the stove) add all the veggies & herbs, mix well and return to heat.

Allow to cook for about 5 minutes until veggies are starting to soften.

Add the split peas, stock and tomato sauce, removing from heat before doing this – the reason I remove the pan from the heat each time is just an added safety measure for the kids. Mix all ingredients well and allow to cook for approximately 20 minutes, stirring from time to time. More stock can be added if necessary.

While the sauce is cooking, cook pasta of your choice to accompany this.
This is also great with a bit of percorino cheese on top.

Be sure to pop in again for more mouthwatering kid’s recipes!!

Quick and Easy Tomato Sauce Recipe

2kg tomatoes
1kg onions
1 house of garlic
3tbsp olive oil
Fresh parsley and either basil / thyme / oregano

Tomatoes can be blanched and peeled, but I generally omit this step unless I am using really tough skinned tomatoes.

Chop the onions and fry lightly in olive oil. Add the tomatoes and herbs mix well and allow to simmer for about 30 minutes until ingredients have cooked down and most of the liquid has evaporated. If you want a really chunky sauce, keep out about 500g tomatoes and add these in about half way through cooking.

The riper the tomatoes the tastier the sauce will be, and of course if you can grow your own organic tomatoes and leave them on the vine until really ripe all the better!! This recipe is a really great way to store and freeze excess tomatoes for the winter.

This sauce can be bottled and frozen – I use glass bottles – mainly as it is a good way to recycle them and also I try to avoid plastics as I just don’t trust that the chemicals will not leach out of them especially during freezing. If you are using glass, make sure to only put the lids on the jars after the contents have frozen to prevent the jars from cracking.

For Adults Only – the monsters that lurk…

2007-05-25T05:08:00.000+02:00

From the Editor's Desk

I will be doing a regular Web-Site editorial of South African sites worthy of attention. This week we are featuring The Pedo-File.
This site run by Jacqui Thomas shares some frightening information, information all parents need to be aware of!!

The disclaimer on the site reads:
“Portions of this website may contain graphic images and text, which may offend and/or trigger sensitive viewers and are not recommended for viewing by persons under the age of 18. Viewer discretion is advised.”

WOW – makes one wonder what exactly will be found in the rest of the site? But as parents we owe it to our children to read the information, take in what is being shown, and do whatever it takes to protect them. As I write this my youngest is asleep here next to me, he is only a year old, the picture of innocence itself. I know I will do everything in my power to protect that innocence, including reading what may well be the most disturbing piece of information I have ever read.

Most parents live in complete ignorance of what is happening in today’s society, with internet access freely available in many homes we need to ask ourselves “What exactly are my children doing on-line and exactly what are they being exposed to?”

The site’s Introduction & Mission Statement states:
"My first introduction to the wonders of online communication was in approximately 1996, when I was first connected to the internet. It didn't take long though, before I was also introduced to the world of online predators. At the time, MSN Chatrooms were the "in thing" and, admittedly, I made some very good friends, in particular with one family in the United Kingdom. Jimmy and I have been communicating on and off since then and he has become an integral part of my life both online and off.

What disturbed me most about the chatrooms I frequented was the number of men (in particular, although women were soon to follow) who lurked in these chatrooms, only to make their presence known when a minor entered. As a chatter, I was constantly hit on by these men, who often became quite insistent within a minute or two and who I often had to put on "ignore" to enable my chats with friends. Ultimately, I opted to use MSN Instant Messenger to communicate with my friends, as it was easier and a more pleasant experience, due to the ease with which one could "block" contacts who made a nuisance of themselves.

Over the next few years, I volunteered my services as a chatroom monitor to a number of overseas organisations. Unfortunately, my own country (South Africa) had as yet not felt a need for such a service.

I then went on to study Psychology and Criminology part-time and for a number of years and I temporarily shelved the idea, until one day, while browsing the internet in search of information relating to my studies, I came across a group on the internet who call themselves "Perverted-Justice" . I immediately registered an account with them, determined to find out everything I possibly could about starting a similar organisation in South Africa. They have proved themselves over and over in the United States and I can only hope that The Pedo-File will, one day, have a similar impact in South Africa. "

Really disturbing, read further…

"Self-appointed "Online Sexual Offences Monitor" drops a Bombshell. For just one moment, put yourself in this mother's shoes:
You've had a hard day at work, you've made supper, done homework, and settled your children down for the night. It's time to kick back and relax, so you sit down at your desk and log into your PC to check your mail. Little do you know that what is to follow, will not only enrage you, but will sicken you to the very core of your being.
You see that someone has logged into MSN and forgotten to log out again. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you click on the tab “Archived Messages”. What you're expecting to see is the idle banter of two young friends chatting, but what you see is something quite different.

You are reading an article written by a self-appointed “Online Sexual Offences Monitor”. Now before you go calling me a vigilante, read the following excerpts from a recent chat my underage persona had, and tell me that what I am doing is unnecessary or unjustified:

Read the conversation that took place here.

It seems to me that there must be a “Perv's Handbook” out there that all of these creeps read. The questions used to establish the true age of the minor with whom they are corresponding seem to be pre-written. And don't be fooled into thinking that they are only after teenagers or simple "roleplaying". I have had similar conversations under the persona of a 10 year old too. This particular chat was with someone overseas, but could just have easily been with a local. Sadly, the chats my persona has had with locals have been much more graphic and in several instances, the perv has tried to make arrangements to meet in person.

From recent news headlines, I see that there have been changes made to our Sexual Offences Bill and that there is a possibility that South Africa may soon have its own Sexual Offenders Register. Until then, as a parent of three minor children, I appeal to you: Be very aware.

Don't ever assume that your children could/would not become prey to this type of villain. It is out there. It is happening - whether you want to believe it or not.

All that stands between them and your children is YOU.

Be there for them. "

Please visit this site along with Pink Ladies for more information, you owe it to your kids; you owe it to yourself.

Pink Ladies whose primary occupation is the tracing and returning of missing / endangered children and adults, has also recently launched “Project Teen Talk” which offers an alternative secure, moderated message board & three chat rooms.

Pink Ladies will be featured in a future Web-Site Editorial.

Vandag was goed...

2007-05-23T22:26:00.000+02:00

Afrikaans poem by Genie

Vandag was goed
Jy het gelag
En ek kon luister verby myself
Na die lig wat borrel in jou asem
Jy het na my gekyk
Asof ek buite jou staan
Op ‘n afstand wat dit moontlik maak
Vir jou om my te sien

Vir ‘n wyle staan ons so
Ek in my lewe jy in jou eerste paar winterskoene
Wat ons vroegdag saam ontdek het
En my hart maak ‘n deining
Teen die skemerkom
Wat opbou teen die horison
Ek rol my liefde uit teen die nag ‘n rooi tapyt
Vir ‘n klein prins
Om mee te vlieg

Jy gooi jou arms oop
En spat die oomblik uitmekaar
Jou lyf rank op in myne
En die nag breek oop in ‘n duisend liggies
Wat borrel in jou asem

Absolute Joy, Unbearable Loss

2007-05-23T09:46:00.000+02:00

By Jacqui Thomas

My labour started at 7.15am in the morning and I slowly made my way to St Georges Hospital in Port Elizabeth. By 9.00am dilation was at 6.5cm and twin A had settled neatly into my pelvis, ready to be born, despite the fact that (purely for safety reasons) I had elected to have a caesarian section. A spinal block was administered and the girls were delivered by caesarian section at 10.15am and 10.16am respectively, weighing 2.4 and 2.6 kilograms (quite a healthy weight for twins). The operation itself was uneventful, both girls were 9/10 on their apgars and it took my Gynae/Obstetrician longer to close the incision than to deliver both my babies! By 11.30am I was tucked safely into bed and waiting for the spinal block to wear off so I could see my daughters and nurse them for the first time.

Once the spinal block had worn off and I was able to get around, I excitedly made my way to the nursery. As I reached the nursery doors, there were a number of tearful people milling around the entrance. Not one to interfere or make a scene, I made my way through them to collect my gorgeous daughters and wheel them back to my ward. As I wheeled their bassinet out of the nursery, a chilling silence fell over the people waiting outside and I sensed what I can only describe as a feeling of hostility. It was some 24 hours later that I learned that they were anxiously awaiting news on a relative's newborn, who was in the NICU. Apparently the little one was born with only a partial brain, and had been on life support since delivery. And so it happened that, for the next 48 hours, every time I wheeled my healthy, full term babies down to the nursery for a bath or so that I could take a nap, I had to pass around or through this group of people.

Despite my joy at the delivery of my babies, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, every time I visited the nursery. According to a nursing sister that I chatted to, the little one was not expected to survive and the doctors and staff had done all they could to keep him comfortable and pain free until he passed away. She said that they were bound to prolonging his life and that all that remained was the parents' decision as to how long they would keep him on life support, as he wasn't even able to breathe by himself. I believe the parents made a decision late that night.

The following day, as I rode the lift down to the ground floor, on my way home with my girls, the mother of the little one who had passed away stepped into the lift on the 2nd floor. Instinctively, we embraced each other and I whispered to her that I really had no words for her, but that my thoughts were with her and her family. We left the lift together, both of us in tears, me on my way home to begin a new life with my girls and she on her way home, to an empty nursery.

What happened that day changed me in so many ways. It gave me a new reason to be grateful for every day I have with my children, and re-instilled in me a capacity for empathy and selflessness that I thought I had lost.

To that mommy: If you ever read this, know that you, your son and your family are still in my thoughts and heart, even now that my girls are almost eight years old. It seems like only yesterday that we rode that lift together, a short journey that would lead us to the rest of our lives. Wherever you are, God bless and take care.

Birthday party nightmares

2007-05-23T09:25:00.000+02:00

by Doodle

It's that time of the year again for me and the fun and games are just about to begin as the 10 girls I have been friends with for the past 6 years try to out do each other in hosting the most terrific and extraordinary kiddies party ever. All of us attended antenatal classes together and so all our little Angels were born with in a few weeks of each other. From the start of autumn to basically the end of winter every second weekend we spend our Saturdays at a birthday party, by the end of winter I am more then happy never to see a slice of Birthday cake again or sing along to Happy Birthday!!!

However there is nothing uncomplicated about these parties any longer, the once easy going uneventful little chin digs that we use to enjoy together with some tasty treats and perhaps a jumping castle or sand pit for the little party goers has now turned into Birthday party Survivor. You are very fortunate if your child's party is one of the first as the bar has not been set as yet and so the pressure is not as crushing as for the poor Mums who have to compete towards the end of the party season.

On receiving one of the first birthday invites the games are officially opened........ Hmmm let's see what we are up against. A beautifully hand written 4 page invite from the Flower Princess of the North, complete with a poem and a point for point schedule of the proceedings for the day... PS: Please come dressed appropriately for the Royal celebration. My son is beside himself with excitement and is counting the sleeps until he goes to the Flower Princesses Birthday party. Saturday morning off we go to the nearest Costume hire to go get him an appropriate little outfit for the occasion. After an hour of trying on and taking off and much persuasion the Prince finally chooses a Royal blue cloak with gold and ruby buttons, matching ¾ pants and of course a crown to complete it. Wonderful we are ready and off to the party we go. I am eager to see what awaits us and I am already starting to picture what we will find in my mind. Knowing this Mums previous birthday celebrations I know we are in for a real treat.

Entering the Kingdom of the north and the Flower Princesses castle I am completely bowled over, I immediately begin to wonder what am I possibly going to do for my 6 year olds birthday that will be able to compete with this!!! The entire house has been turned into a real life castle for the little Flower Princess, equipped with a draw bridge and a moat and of course a red carpet for the guests. Pink and Purple fabric draped from the walls with the Royal Families shield and a huge board welcoming all to the festivities. Each guest has their picture taken in the castle that you can take home with you when you leave. We are lead into a beautifully set up little tea garden with matching pink and purple plates and cups every single little detail has been taken care of right down to the tiny little butterflies dotted all over the garden. Professional musicians gently playing classical music in the background (and I really do mean 3 real life musicians with their violins and flutes) while you enjoy the ever on going feast of treats that have been laid out. The children play games of the times with kiss the frog and riding around on stick ponies trying to win the hand of the Princess. You can hear the Moms chattering as more and more indulgences are brought out. The exhausted Hostess hushes everyone, bringing all the children together and the musicians begin to play Happy Birthday. The loveliest of Castle cake's is brought out with all the embellishments....look out towers, guards, flags and even a little princess on the bridge. The Adults and children alike all completely breathless...the oohs and aaahs are soon followed by the children fighting and tugging over who will have which piece of the castle. Finally the day comes to an end and each little Prince and Princess receives a party pack to take home, enclosed is a Royal certificate, a crown, chocolate gold coins, sweets and chocolates and a key to the castle for the next celebration.......

All the way home each of the Moms begins conjuring up magnificent ideas on what junior's party is going to be like, how to plan one bigger and better so that the now sleepy little Prince does not feel like his party was not fun or lacked all the necessary trimmings!!!! What are they going to hire and just how big can we make that Formula one racing car cake. With the Flower Princesses party lurking each night in the Mums dreams (nightmares more like it), keeping them up into the early hours working on party lists and visiting websites on the most up to date birthday idea's.......dam dam dam that Flower Princess!!!!! The once easy going enjoyable parties that we all use to look forward to with no mess no fuss were now causing the party planning Mums dreadful ulcers and stressing Dads as they heard their bank account being drained...... all for juniors 6th Birthday party!!!

Partying is such sweet sorrow

2007-05-23T08:40:00.000+02:00

by Kyknoord

Regular visitors will know that the fruit of my loins (a.k.a. Kyknoord Jr) lives in Port Elizabeth with her mother and that I, being the doting sire that I am, visit her regularly.

An enormous advantage of living in a different city to your progeny is that you aren’t expected to attend the scores of kiddie birthday parties that seem to crop up more or less continually throughout the year. My previous trips to the windy friendly city have been rather well timed, because up until now I’ve managed to avoid them all. Sadly, my run of good luck came to an abrupt end on my most recent visit.

If I had to summarise the experience in three words, they would be “Oh, the horror”. Picture an extended version of Timmy permanently about to fall down the well (with Lassie nowhere in sight) and you’ll have some idea. Of course, when the adults weren’t chasing after their screaming offspring, they were busy discussing mucous and bowel movements in full Technicolor detail. Fun is not the word+.

When the indoor activities++ were done, the outdoor festivities began. Naturally, when you have a dozen toddlers and only one item of recreational apparatus, you have a recipe for conflict:
“I wanna swing!”
“I wanna swing!”
“I wanna swing!”[Cue: wailing and gnashing of teeth. Repeat]

It was like being in a sugar-powered echo chamber. It did, however, illustrate that the laws of supply and demand are established at a very young age. This is probably why Communism never really caught on. It also explains why there are rallies and sell-offs on the stock market. Brokers are clearly all three-year olds at heart.

+ Indeed not. “Bleuaargh!” is the word.
++ i.e. cake orgy.

Why I choose to Homebirth

2007-05-23T03:38:00.000+02:00

by Annie Austin

While most doctors will tell you that giving birth is a medical event which needs to take place in a hospital, with doctor in attendance “in case something goes wrong”, there is a whole range of alternatives out there. From having baby in a hospital with a midwife instead of doctor, to unassisted childbirth. With a whole spectrum of options in between.

Thought I would start with the birth of my second child. I had resigned myself to having a hospital birth, my husband was totally opposed to a home birth. He was worried that we were too far away from help if something went wrong. I think he realized that we would have to look at other options to hospital birth after a completely stressful visit to my now second OB. The first one and I parted ways on rather bad terms as he was completely unprepared to allow me to have a birth plan or to have any say whatsoever in the kind of birth I wanted. He said we would either do things his was or he was not prepared to be my doctor anymore. I was not about to let him bully me into having a medicated, medically controlled birth, especially since my first had been a home birth without complications. I changed OB’s only to end up with even more stress and being told I would probably need to have a c-section as my placenta was low lying – this was at about 24 weeks – I had had an ultra sound at 19 weeks and my placenta was nowhere near low lying. To cut a long and boring story short, the two OB’s know each other pretty well and both have an incredibly high c-section rate.

So there we were 25 weeks along and no care giver, I was desperate enough to consider using my GP who operates from the only hospital in our nearest small town – a state hospital – but at least he would be reasonable and would not try to bully me further.

I decided to look at other options, there had to be something better than the options I had considered thus far. Even if it meant me giving birth in Durban almost two hours drive away. I found a midwife in Ballito, not as far as Durban, but still over an hour away. I went to see her and we clicked immediately – she gave me the confidence to seriously consider home birth as an option, after all my first pregnancy and labour had been straightforward. My husband and I agreed (or rather I convinced him) that home birth would be the way to go and we haven’t looked back since.

Our son was born on the fourth of May, after an amazing labour assisted by a midwife and doula. I used a birthing pool for pain relief and was allowed to labour at my own pace. Ryan was born in water, with the membranes still intact. I was able to nurse him as soon as he was ready, he went straight into daddy's arms and was never left alone to fend for himself for one second.

After the birth we got into the family bed and got to know our youngest son better. Our oldest son was present to meet his new brother and the whole day was relaxed and pleasant. And I never had to eat hospital food!

Compare this to how most birth happens in a hospital. Firstly there is the drive to the hospital, in our case 40miles along bad roads, then having to get checked into hospital. After arrival, spending time on your back attached to monitors, and being examined by a midwife and nurses you have never met before.

If all this is not enough to stall labour, then chances are that the constant interruptions and offers of pain relief and IV needle in your arm would be. Not to even mention the fact that you are not allowed anything to eat or drink but clear fluids – just in case.

If you are one of the lucky ones, labour will proceed as expected - doctors expectations that is - not yours. If your membranes have not ruptured, then labour will be ‘helped along’ with rupturing of membranes. This often has the effect of speeding labour up and making the whole process more far painful.

Labour is given a time limit and if things take too long or start to slow down - due to all the interruptions - then drugs to speed up labour are given. Chances are that this will lead to the mother needing pain medication, as the labour inducing drugs cause harsher and more intense contractions, forcing baby out into the world before it is ready.

Due to the drugs extra monitoring is required, mother is expected to lie on her back so that baby’s heart rate can be monitored. Lying on her back not only makes for a more painful labour, but will also have a negative effect on baby’s heart rate.

If baby is seen to be in distress – possibly due to drugs given to the mother, or due to mother lying on her back, words like emergency c-section or forceps delivery start being bandied around.

What started out as a straight forward birth, has been turned into a medical emergency. Unfortunately most doctors are taught to deal with medical emergencies and not healthy mothers giving birth to healthy babies. One intervention leads to the next.

Add to this the risk of infection from other patients, risk of kidnapping (a common occurrence where we live in South Africa) and homebirth starts looking like a far better option.

These are only two of the options available to moms, there are many great free-standing birthing centers available – these are staffed by midwives and doulas. Some hospitals are open to independent midwives attending births instead of doctors. On the other end of the spectrum is unassisted childbirth where the mom chooses to labour at home with only her partner present without any medical intervention whatsoever.

Further reading on homebirth and birth stories:
~Earthbabies
~Mothering homebirth article
~Mothering Reasons to choose homebirth article

Online infertility support in South Africa

2007-05-21T10:21:00.000+02:00

by Tertia Albertyn
I would like to tell you a little about one of my latest projects. Something that started up and then had to put on hold while I sorted my life out. It is still on hold in terms of my time and effort, but the essence of it continues without me.
A big, big part of what got me through the darkest times during my infertility battle was the support I got from my fellow infertiles in the computer. I spent literally hours, and I mean HOURS online chatting and bonding and sharing with people from across the globe. These women I met on the infertility bulletin boards and online support groups became some of my dearests friends. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them. I am still really close to many of them today, all these years later. Hey girls, remember TLOL! How long ago was that! Ages.
I wrote about this in my book and people often email me and ask where they can find good local online support forums and I feel terrible that I am unable to point them to anything that comes even close to what I had.
There are three main online support forums that exist in South Africa:
The one is very regionalized and specific to a particular type of ‘treatment’
The other is exceptionally quiet. No one ever posts.
The busiest one is a forum that is plagued with daily melodrama / trolls / infighting / bitchiness etc. I would hate to send someone new that way.
There might be a few others but I don’t know about them.
As you know, helping others deal with infertility is my cause, my passion and my self-imposed obligation and so I wanted to do something about it. So I set up the framework of a site where I could talk about infertility issues and facilitate a forum where people could get the same kind of support and love I got all those years back. And then the whole “Talk” thing happened and it was one of the casualties of my ‘quality time with husband’ thing. Rats!
I am still very keen on the idea and I will pick it up as soon as I have some capacity, but I am hoping that the forums will tick over in the meantime without too much of my intervention.
If you are South African and are looking for online support, please go have a look at http://www.storksisters.com/ and participate in the conversations that have started there. No trolls / bitchiness / melodrama tolerated!
Good luck and much love to all of you.
xxx

New Editor Intro

2007-05-21T02:14:00.000+02:00

By Annie Austin

It is official, I have taken over as editor of SA Parent Life, I will do my best to follow in Aalize's footsteps and do her site proud!

A little about me:
I am a WAHM (work at home mom) , we live in Rural Kwazulunatal. I am an avid writer (though consider myself somewhat of a beginer). I am mom to 2 boys ages 10 & 1 year, we homeschool, belive in attachment parenting and gentle discipline, but I want to keep this as a general informational site and as such plan to have a cross section of work from parents with different parental styles. I will also be looking at asking kids and teens to post their articles.

I look forward to getting to know all the regular posters and readers on here, may we learn and grow together.

Check out Natural Living Family Blog for some of my articles.

Some great South African sites worth visiting

2007-05-20T02:51:00.000+02:00

Birthing in Awareness ~ We are motherhood mentors and alternative healers honouring the age-old tradition of women supporting women in various rites of passage through life. We hold regular workshops and courses for Doula trainees, mothers and partners. We provide Breastfeeding facilitation, Doula support, Reiki energy work, Therapeutic massage with essential oils and Mentoring in the Birthing from Within philosophy of mindful awareness into motherhood.

Bosom Buddies is a non-profit Christian organisation that services a local state hospital providing nappy-bags with clothing, blankets and products for the newborn as well as hygiene products for the mother. We personally deliver the bags to each mom and spend one-on-one time with each baby and mother. By doing this we ensure that no baby goes home without being adequately clothed and each mom feels that their community do care and the birth is recognized and celebrated. We ensure the mothers of premature infants who are involved in kangacare, have access to free tea & coffee supplies as well as a few food basics. We also try to make their room more homely by providing books and games, literature and laundry facilities.

Earthbabies ~ Earth Babies is a South African venture set up to support mothers and babies.Earth Babies is a home run business. It was created to help inform and support parents seeking a more natural approach to birth and parenting.

Mother Nature Products ~ Shaped cloth nappies inspired by nature.

Natural Living Family Blog ~ The natural parenting place... Collection of articles by Annie Austin on Natural and Attachment parenting.

Pestalozzi Trust ~ Legal defence fund for home education.

South African Breastmilk Reserve ~ SABR is an association registered under Section 21 of the Companies Act. SABR sees as its partners, the mother bank “iThembaLethu Breastmilk Bank” in Durban, iThembaLethu Human Milk Bank (Cape Town).
All three banks have been indorsed and partially sponsored by UNICEF (United Nations Children’s Fund). Other donors include Nampak, Clover, the Bersheba Foundation and Pixeljuice.

Part of being a parent is ensuring that your children get the best education that you can give them. For some it means private schools, others may prefer a Christian school, but in South Africa there is a huge growing community of homeschoolers. www.south-african-homeschool-curriculum.com helps this community to raise their children according to Godly standards, get organized in your home, develop long lasting relationships with knowledge and offers you a wonderful literature based curriculum, Footprints On Our Land, to use with your children. Footprints On Our Land gives you a magnificent arm chair journey through South Africa and its history, stopping to discover the geography and people of this land. There are three programs - Little Footprints (Ages 4 -8), South Africa's Heritage (Ages 7 - 12) and Footprints into the 21st Century (Ages 12 - 16). Shirley and Wendy, owners of www.south-african-homeschool-curriculum.com , also have a FREE monthly encouragement E-zine for homeschool families. Be sure to visit.

St Aiden's South Africa - Home education and activities ~ Here you will be able to access the best international resources on the net and for a typically South African flavour, we will be adding age-appropriate printables, worksheets, thematic units. You will also find units in isiZulu, Afrikaans, Hindi, Sotho & other major language

International sites we like

2007-05-20T01:00:00.000+02:00

Kids Craft Weekly ~ Kids Craft Weekly is a free newsletter full of inspiring craft ideas and fun activities for young kids.

Hathor the cowgoddess ~ Amazing Site, pop in and see for yourself!!

Mothering ~ Natural Family Living magazine

Breastfeeding Links
La Leche League International
Kellymom
Sisters of Breastfeeding
When Mothers Nurse
motherwear.com
Breastfeeding.com

Earth Babies

2007-05-16T07:17:00.000+02:00

By Sally Cameron

I fell pregnant while we were living in England so I started to look for information on homebirths and natural products in the UK. This led me to discover wonderful natural parenting products available overseas. Rachel was later born at home in Pretoria, South Africa. When I looked for products similar to those that I had seen in the UK, I couldn’t find anything, and yet I was sure that there must be other parents in South Africa who were also interested in the kind of products I was looking for.

I met Barbara at antenatal classes and when we spent time together after the birth of our children, she saw that I was using cloth nappies that I had brought back home from England. She was interested in them and in the other ideas that I had, and so we decided to start the company Earth Babies to provide these products here in South Africa.

We both had very small babies at this point but slowly we managed to resource fabric and design patterns for our products. After our first few strange looking nappies, we came up with a design that we liked and started making cloth nappies to sell, usually at night once our babies were asleep. This was very time consuming and involved many late night hours at the sewing machine. Husbands were even called in to help sew when times were busy. We gradually added more designs and products to our range but as we grew we realised that we could not keep up with making the nappies ourselves. We now have a small CMT factory in Pretoria helping us and it has really lifted an enormous burden.

We decided that our company should be an internet-based site so that it could be accessed by parents around the country, and products could be posted countrywide. It also helped to keep out overheads low. We followed the treads of similar types of companies in USA and UK where natural parenting Internet companies are prolific. South Africa is catching up fast with regards to Internet usage and e-commerce so we feel that we have positioned ourselves in an emerging market. Since we started our company, quite a few cloth nappy companies have come onto the market in South Africa.

We did not however want our company to focus purely on our products. We really wanted a large part of what we did to be about supporting mothers and giving them information about more natural approaches to parenting. It was only through other people sharing their ideas with us that we learnt about things like cloth nappies, elimination communication, extended breastfeeding, natural and home births. We, in turn, wanted to make the information available to others and so a large part of our Internet site is dedicated to articles and information about these topics. We also made a forum available on our website where parents can chat to each other, share ideas, and support one another in pregnancy, birth and parenting.

Barbara and I both want to be work at home moms. It is not always easy to balance working and mothering, but we just have to keep evaluating what our initial goals were and stick to that. The temptation to try and compete with larger companies and to grow too fast has been there, but this would mean a lot less time with our children, who remain our number one focus.

Barbara – “ I have always dreamed of being a mom, the reality of which has been more wonderful, more challenging and more time consuming than I could ever have imagined. I hope that Earth Babies can reach other moms on this amazing journey and somehow make it a little easier for them."

Sally - “I always knew that my dream job was out there and that I just had not found it yet. Who would have known that it would be owning my own company and being able to help other parents. Barbara and I joke now that we should have studied business and computers to do this job but I know that my background in nursing and midwifery has helped us, as has Barbara’s experience in the restaurant industry as an administrator and personal assistant. We feel like quite small fish is the big ocean but we will be the best most colourful fish we can be.”

Co-Sleeping in comfort

2007-05-15T04:11:00.000+02:00

by Annie Austin

I have always been pro sharing sleep, my first son spent the first six months of his life in my bed and first year in my room - at the time I was newly widowed and spent so much time away from my son during the day while I was at work that I hated to be parted from him when I didn't have to - including while we slept.

After marrying a wonderful man and finding happiness in a marriage that I thought I would never find again, I was expecting my second child. We looked at cots and bassinets and started putting together a nursery for him, but somehow it just didn't feel right. The more I read parenting info the more the attachment parenting mindset made sense to me. I started reading forums and magazines like Mothering and realised that I agreed with the shared sleep philosophy and all it entailed. Now to convince my huband of this... unlike me he had a traditional South African upbringing and all the ideas that go with it. Anyhow I shared some of the info I had read and realised very quickly that my wonderful husband would prove to be even more wonderful, he agreed with my ideas and was happy to have our baby share our bed. I even convinced him that giving birth to our baby at home was the best option for us, even though we live on a farm and are some distance from the nearest hospital, but that is another story alltogether.

Our youngest is now a year old has slept with us from the begining and we just love having him in our bed. Though even with a king-size bed things were getting a bit cramped as he tends to stretch out across the bed. I then got the idea of putting a single bed next to our bed. We are fortunate in that we live in a really old farm house and the rooms are huge, so this is an option. I adjusted the legs of the bed so that the beds would be the same height and made a fitted sheet that fits over both beds. The single bed is now in the corner of the room, so that my son cannot fall off during the night - he learned how to get off the bed without falling off about two months ago, but I still worry he may fall off while asleep. I now sleep in the middle of the bed and no longer have a bedside table - which will take some getting used to, but there is now enough space for all of us - even my oldest (he sometimes sits on the bed with us and watches a movie) and the really great thing is that should we be fortunate enough to have another baby while this one still sleeps with us, there will be enough room for everyone to sleep safely. Now if I could just convince my body it is ready for the next one, but with Ryan still breast-feeding who knows when this will happen?

Sharing sleep or co-sleeping really is an amazing way for both parents to bond with baby, and I find nothing easier than just feeding my baby when he is hungry during the night without having to leave my bed. While this is not an option that will work for all families I stronly recommend that it is something that is considered by future parents as an option. While many may say it is not safe to sleep with your baby in your bed, there is a lot of research out there that shows, that as long as a few simple rules are followed, it is a truly safe and rewarding experience for the whole family.

After all babies have only been sleeping apart from their parents in recent history, a few hundred years ago nobody had even heard of cots...

Recommended reading:

Get the book

~Three in a Bed: the benefits of sleeping with your baby by Deborah Jackson Mothering.com article Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson
~Safe Co-Sleeping article by Elizabeth Pantley (author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution)

Child Protégé, Indeed

2007-05-02T11:34:00.000+02:00

By Cath Jenkin

So, there you were, all newborn and fresh and cute and your dad and I were swallowed up by new baby love.

Then, after six weeks of “continual awake/asleep/feed me/change me/and that’s all I do – isn’t that easy?” phasing… the worst thing happened.

All of a sudden, you were AWAKE. AWAKE and staring at me. Goading me to “go on, now entertain me”.

So, we did. We bought the bloody expensive Baby Einstein. Convinced ourselves we were, as a result, nurturing your hidden talents and growing ourselves a true blue child protégé. We just KNEW we were the BEST parents ever.

Of course, that was the exact moment you started to totally ignore the television.

So, back to the world’s largest baby superstore we went. And invested small African countries’ GDPs in “educational toys”, utterly enamoured by the idea that WE were doing the BEST for our little pumpkin. SHE was going to grow up and CHANGE the world.

And we brought them home, showed them to you, and you gave them exactly thirteen seconds’ attention before throwing them back at me.

And turned your attention back to the television.

So, we kept on going. Trying everything. Reading. Reading to you and with you was a HUGE priority in our lives because someone (and approximately fifteen child-rearing books) said…

“You know, children who read from a young age really learn to talk faster?”

And there we were, talking to you and reading up a storm. CONVINCED that we were STILL growing a child protégé. I even went as far as saying:

“Well, my daughter is already mouthing words and making word-sounding babbles. She’s SO clever”

Why did nobody stop me and say something like “Oh, you’re going to regret this one…”

And then, you were walking and talking. You said “mama” one Thursday night and I just held you and cried and laughed and smiled.

I WAS SO PROUD.

Until, of course, the day came. Anyone who is a parent knows this. The day comes where you begin to regret being so eager for your child to speak and talk and communicate.

And yes, folks, that day was Tuesday morning.

You’d been sick, poor thing. There’d been mess and vomit and pooh.

So, I cleaned us both up, started the mammoth laundry task. Tried to pry my fatigued eyes open to remember how to turn the machine on.

Both of us so tired and grubby.

And there I was, standing beside the machine. And you called me that name I know and love so well now.

“Mama?”

So, I turned and looked at you, my poor little sick child.

“Yes, Cameron?”

And you looked back at me, with your innocent eyes, all your precious teeth grinning at me.

And then you said, “F*ck.”
.
“Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.” ~Author Unknown

Reinventing Our Birth Stories

2007-04-18T00:07:00.000+02:00

by Rosalia Pihlajasaari

I trained as a doula in 2003 while expecting my second child, Skyla. I had a previous birth by necessary caesarean for my son Davin so I was aiming at having a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). Upon having had a successful natural water birth with my daughter I decided to follow my bliss and become a doula. I also trained in America to become a Birthing From Within Mentor and childbirth educator.

Part of my training included leading a Birth Stories workshop that has taught me many things amongst which the fact that as life unfolds we become aware that few things are absolutely under our control. As you journey forward you encounter various experiences, good and bad, that assist you in becoming more fully YOU.

Birth is one of those thresholds in life when all your inner resources are challenged and called into action. Even as you stand on this threshold between maiden and mother and you do everything that is recommended, things still have a way of turning out differently from what you expected. Your memory of your birth experience is something that will walk with you for the rest of your life.

Whatever your birth experience is there is always something when you look back, that is bothering you or is causing you grief and sorrow. You are searching for answers to questions that you may not have fully formulated yet or perhaps are looking to place blame with someone or something. This will inevitably re-open any birth wounds leaving you vulnerable yet again. Birth wounds may come in all shapes and sizes. It may take the shape of an unwished for intervention or an unexpected emotion that arose due to lack of support from your partner. It may seem like something small and inconsequential but what ever it is it’s this memory that flavours your recollection of your birth.

Traumatic or disillusioned experiences can affect you in all aspects of your life including your parenting and successive pregnancies and your relationship with your partner or other people. Working through and resolving past trauma is the key to more successful future relations and experiences.

I work with mothers to access their inner resources of love and forgiveness and gently move from a birth memory that causes pain and grief to a place of letting go and exploring better memories that can serve them fully in their lives. Through sensorial mediums such as art and journaling each mother can awaken her inner healer and begin to see her birth through new eyes. This will free her to see strength and power where she previously saw failure. She will also be able to create new empowering beliefs about herself as a birthing woman, mother and individual.
.
Rosalia is a doula, Birthing From Within childbirth educator and mentor, breastfeeding facilitator, Reiki master and massage therapist. You can contact Rosalia at rosalia[at]birthing.co.za to find out when her next Birth Story Workshops are being held. You can visit her website at www.birthing.co.za

Morning Madness

2007-04-17T04:32:00.000+02:00

By Dee Steedman

"Be afraid be very afraid. You are about to enter the demons lair," should read the sign on my son’s door in the mornings. Waking my five year old son up in the mornings has become a complete nightmare. My mission: To get the little demon out of bed, attempt to get some food down his throat, clothes on, teeth brushed and lunch and school bag packed and ready for a full day at school.

My son is 100% confirmed NOT a morning person, which makes my life just that much more difficult in the mornings. Most mornings are awful for Mums even when things are flowing smoothly, but in my household mornings are a battle zone and I feel like the crazed Sergeant shouting commands at my seemingly very deaf and stubborn troop.

From the time he is gently awoken until we leave the house, with my nostrils flaring and muttering obscenities under my voice, nothing and I really mean nothing is done effortlessly or on the first time he is told. My partner tip-toes around the house trying his damdest to avoid the cross fire or being snarled at by me: "I can't take it. I can't do this every morning for the next 12 years!!"

I make coffee then go wake him up and try frog march him off to the breakfast table. I come back empty handed and continue to drink my coffee. No sign of the troop, I go back threatening all sorts of unfortunate disasters if he is not there in the next 5 min. I go back and get his breakfast ready and surprise surprise, I have to go back yet again. Finally after being told, “I am just stretching; I am just waking up; I am just blah blah blah…” I return this time with my troop in hand and his feet firmly pushed into the ground, not willing to surrender. He flops down at the breakfast table grumpy and feeling like the entire world is plotting against him and his horrid mother is leading them.

I have bought every possible type of kiddy’s cereal, breakfast bar, spread for toast and flavored yogurt in a feeble attempted to make breakfast proceed with a little more simplicity. I sit watching him and my blood begins to boil as he starts to rearrange the cereal from one side to the other, stirring clock wise then anti clock wise, and finally just staring at it hoping if he did it for long enough it would magically just disappear. A marathon 20 min later and we have managed to get four spoons down... Well done, that was one spoon more than last week!

Okay so hopefully it will improve and we are now half way done. Only thing left is to get him into his clothes and his teeth brushed. I keep popping my head around the corner to see how far he is while I carry on getting myself ready and giving the house a quick once over, still shouting the count down: “I am leaving in 10 min whether you have shoes on or not; I am leaving in 5 min whether you have your lunch packed or not...” No shoes and no lunch does not bother this little troop at all. Tick tock tick tock… the count down is coming to a swift end. Unable to contain myself any longer, I sit him on the counter hurriedly putting on his sandals and ruffle his bed head into something that looks like a Backstreet Boy style. Lunch and school bag whipped on his back and we make a hasty charge for the car only to face yet another frustrating session of William Nicol traffic to school and work.

Trying to teach my growing little troop to do things for himself, to be responsible and how to be on time is proving to more difficult than I had ever imagined. And the thought of another 12 years of battle zone mornings… SOS! Anybody have a Valium or two?

Bosom Buddies

2007-03-27T01:40:00.000+02:00

By Mel Novitzkas

When I trained to be a Doula, I needed as much practical experience as possible. I did births at Mowbray Maternity, Stellenbosch Provincial Hospital, Hottentots Holland Hospital, Tygerberg Hospital, and the very swanky Vergelegen Medi-clinic.

I was horrified at the ridiculous difference between state and private.

At the state hospitals woman arrive in a taxi all alone, often in labour, mostly in pain, and always afraid. They birth alone, nameless except for the general title of “Mama”. There is no privacy, no dignity. At one state hospital they are all given morphine although not consulted or informed of risks to baby. Epidurals are non-existent. Even gas is no where to be seen except the scar on the wall where it was once in use. No birth balls, no water, no choice. And then they leave with their infant and often nothing else, not even clothes or a blanket, in the crowded taxi back to the townships.

At the private hospital mothers receive a nappy bag filled with goodies they don’t actually need. And the state moms? Nothing! This will just not do!

And so the non-profit, Bosom Buddies was ‘born’.

Bosom Buddies aims to have all mothers with their newborns, who birth at a State Hospital , to experience a warm & caring welcome into the world. No newborn will go home without being warmly dressed and wrapped snuggly in a blanket.

So what can you do to help?

Not too much about their birthing experience yet. But, we do make gorgeous nappy bags for the moms and their newborns. We fill them with a Babygro, vest, booties, warm knitted jersey and a cosy hat. We throw in a blanket, sanitary pads and a few disposables. When funds allow we include toweling nappies, a snappi and waterproofs. (I hope to have this in every bag soon) We also include a baby product such as Vaseline or powder and sometimes toothpaste and toothbrush for mom. We attach a beautiful handcrafted card to the bag and the gift is ready.Just before we hand out the bags we pop in a packet of crunchies or muffins. Sadly the hospital we visit is high risk so we often have stillbirths. We make sure we have a plain bag filled with pads and toiletries and something pretty for the mom. We attach a sympathy card and just sit and hold them a while. We also take care of the mothers of the prem babies who kangacare for their tiny ones for weeks or months till they are strong enough.

The following resources are needed:

Fabric for the bags
Fleece fabric for the blankets
Wool for the jerseys
Babygros and vests in newborn & 0-3 months size
Disposable nappies
4 Terricloth nappies with 1 snappi and 2 waterproofs per bag, 1 pkt nappy liners
Surgical spirits and cotton buds for cord care
Baby products such as Vaseline, aqueous cream, powder & shampoo
Sanitary pads for the mother (one of our biggest needs)
Suitable snacks and beverages for the kangacare mothers who stay in the hospital for extended periods with their premature infants
Financial sponsorship to make all this possible

We rely solely on volunteers to run the operation and visit the mothers. The beauty of the project is that the needs are specific and unique so everyone has something to offer in the running of BB.

The following are areas where you can commit your time, skills & energy:

Sewing of the bags (material is provided)
Knitting jerseys, hats & booties
Packing of the bags (done weekly once a week)
Baking of suitable goods for the bags
Collection of infant clothing & other goods from suppliers & sponsors
Attending hospital visits (Mondays or Thursdays at 9.00am)
Marketing BB to potential sponsors and obtaining funding
Praying for BB and the mothers and babies
Making cards

When we have enough practical help and financial & product sponsorship we will be able to cover each mother as well as get the project started in other areas. This is our hope.

For further information, please contact Mel
Check out Mel's blog: www.bosombuddies.typepad.com

The rise and rise of the Purple Dinosaur

2007-03-25T10:36:00.000+02:00

By Cath Jenkin

I was steadfast in my belief that MY child would not fall prey to the tentacles of him.

I happily exposed her to the "good" stuff – Noddy and Winnie the Pooh. The very expensive but actually cute Baby Einstein. Even went as far as those annoying songs-get-stuck-in-your-head-sing-along-DVDs. I got her into programmes on early morning weekend television. Kool Kats - that rocked her world.

So I successfully avoided him - he of the clapping happy purple dinosaur.

And then, she started a new school. And my sister-in-law messages me in hysterics, because when she picked her daughter up one sunny day, all the children were sat in a neat little row - immersed in a DVD. And my daughter would not be moved.

It was him - BARNEY.

I thought, it's okay. She'll get her fill of him at school; It's okay, it's educational. And then she got sick. And I got desperate. So fate dealt me a swift one.

At our local DVD hire store, they were selling off old stock. Cheap. And there was...yep, you guessed it, cut price Barney DVDs. So, I bought one. Thinking, it can't hurt and it'll distract her.

Let me give you a few of my thoughts on Barney's "What's In A Name?" episode:

1. Every child looks stoned. Stoned, stoned, stoned. I don't know what drugs they feed them but no one could ever get THAT happy over foam alphabet blocks.

2. The child learning to spell her name, Linda. She is the exact model for the Children of the Corn. Yes, that horror movie we all watched as giggling teenagers. EXACT.MODEL.

3. The way Barney pops out of nowhere frightens even me. Hell knows what it does to small children - even if they do use sparkly-bubble-effect to make it look pretty.

4. That song - “I love you, You love me, We're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?” - makes me want to grab the nearest weapon and launch it in the general direction of the television.

And yet, Barney has redeemed himself.

Despite my concerns and annoyance, I have never before seen my child so flipping mesmerised. Entirely absorbed. Learning so much. Soaking up all that purple power.

And so, I am now not only the owner of three more incredibly irritating but lifesaving Barney DVDs (thank you Uncle Garry, who ruined his street cred for going in to buy them), but I am also involved in a deep and real relationship with "Bubby", a.k.a. Barney.

What are the benefits of this 'Bubby' relationship?

My daughter has learnt to sing the alphabet, say things like "A is for Apple", kisses a lot more, sings and does the actions for the "Ducky" song (quack quack quack the duckies dooo), all of which is flipping cute and, above all things, she's happy. She loves him. Oh and I’ll admit, I love him. I even love the way he's teaching her that transgender dinosaurs can be happy little beings too.

I think Barney’s an awesome role model. Because of him, she does not fight about seatbelts. She demands them on straight away. Anything with a seatbelt or harness and it must be strapped up. What a joy.

And me?

I get five minutes to wash the dishes or actually shower. And, the biggest joy of all, I have a never ending stream of kiddie friendly songs stuck in my head to hum and annoy my work colleagues with.

Barney, I never thought I'd say this, but dude, I really do love you too.

Never knowing

2007-03-22T00:01:00.000+02:00

By Loretta D.

Being a parent is about never knowing when you are doing the right thing. When giving advice, you really don’t know that it’s the right advice. We make decisions, but there are no guarantees that they are the right decisions. All we can say, is that at that moment, we give the advice that we think is right - at that moment. Only time will let you know if you passed on the correct advice. We do the best we can. We are not perfect. We work hard at it... and we will be blamed for many things later on (when our children are in therapy about their hang-ups).

To my children and their future offspring, remember there is no school for us parents. There are guidelines only and even those are blurry at best. Whatever we do, say, preach or teach as parents, we do with love, unconditional love.

.
Loretta is super mom to two teenagers and two young adults!

Vegan Yumminess!

2007-03-19T10:16:00.000+02:00

Submitted by Michelle Verwey

Source: Fields of Flavour by Sarina Jacobson

Roasted Masala Butternut Rings
1 large butternut, sliced into rings (do not peel)
15ml peanut oil
3 cloves garlic, crushed
60ml fresh coriander, finely chopped
A sprinkle of Maldon salt
2ml fructose
A pinch of ground leaf masala
A pinch of ground garam masala
Fresh coriander leaves to garnish

Preheat the oven to 180˚C. Mix all the ingredients in a mixing bowl, making sure that the butternut is thoroughly coated with the oil and spices.
Place the butternut rings on a baking tray and roast until the butternut has turned golden and crispy. Turn the rings over halfway through roasting.
Arrange the butternut rings on a platter and garnish with fresh coriander leaves. Serve hot. (Serves four as a side dish) .

Do leave a comment if you enjoyed this recipe! It will look something like this...

Watch Out J-Lo, I’m coming for the Alimony

2007-03-19T00:02:00.000+02:00

By Cath Jenkin

So, you’re nearly two now. It seems to have gone far too fast.

Not so long ago, I thought, I was worrying myself stupid about stimulating you within the womb. I had headphones on my belly as often as I could – playing classical and “cultured” music. Workmates of mine were convinced I was mentally challenged. And then I started you on some of my favourites. Being a bit of a hard rocker mommy, you were lulled by the Deftones, Alanis Morissette and a plethora of other, good, all round important life music.

So, then you arrived, to the tune of “New Born” by Muse, played by a DJ at mommy’s favourite haunt, and your godmother Anne played “Minerva” by the Deftones from the moment she knew I was in labour.

And then you grew. And grew. And we played those favourites again. Some of the classical, some nursery rhymes, some of that hard rocking stuff and much to my chagrin, some of your dad’s house music but, also some of his lounge music.

How utterly horrifying then that, at six months, you went crazy over the moon for…

BEYONCE.

The epitome of so much that I cannot stand. Jiggling booty, false hair, grammatically shitty lyrics. You loved it all. You went mad every time Destiny’s Child came on the radio, television, passing car’s sound system.

It was horrible.

And then, you were one. ONE YEAR OLD. One.

And we were paging through a magazine together and you saw a picture of Jennifer Lopez and pointed and excitedly said…

MAMA.

Now, whilst J-Lo may be a beautiful woman, she stands, again for all the things I loathe – she wears fur; she does the bum-shaking thing. She groans instead of sings and again, has grammatically shitty lyrics. And now you think I’m like her, or she’s mama.

Well, baby, if J-Lo’s your mama, I’m gonna be asking her for a cheque soon. And I'll probably use that money to buy more CDs and try, so very hard, to get that R'nB booty shaking stuff out of your head.

Creating awareness of abuse against children...

2007-03-17T10:02:00.000+02:00

By Fayrooz Bailey

Two young South African children were brutally robbed of their lives over the past two weeks - seven-year-old Sheldean Human from Pretoria, and 11-year-old Annasetacia Wiese from Cape Town. It seems little has changed since this column - a rallying call to arms in the fight against violence against children - first appeared on http://www.iafrica.com/ and this week… That shouldn't have been. Nothing to be proud about...

Fri, 23 Sep 2005

Outrage should permeate the collective consciousness. Activism, which died a sad death with the advent of democracy and shiny shopping malls, should be resurrected. We should be planning a Million Parents' March; form a human chain that would span the country; launch a paedophile public registry. My god, anything will do. As long as we do SOMETHING. Because frankly I'm tired of this culture of "if it doesn't affect me I can't be bothered…"

Because even though it appears to be merely statistics, headlines speak volumes, as do conversations one cannot help but eavesdrop on while on the train, in the taxi or in the bus, by people who live in communities affected by this abhorrent scourge – violence against children. The week started on a grim note with news that the body of 10-year-old Benoni girl, Marissa Naidoo, had been found on Sunday, stuffed in a suitcase. Marissa had been abducted from her school the week before. When police swooped on the flat of her alleged kidnapper, he fled, leaping to his death over a balcony. Marissa was buried on Wednesday.

Later on Monday, also disappearing from her school, was eight-year-old Cape Town girl Veronique Solomons. The last time she was reportedly seen was around lunchtime on the back of a stranger's bicycle. Nearly a week later, and there's still no sign of Veronique. Let our hope that she will be found safe and sound remain as strong as her parents'… …

And for the parents of a two-year-old boy who was allegedly abducted in Athlone, Cape Town on Saturday. For the family of three-year-old Juwaida Joseph from Delft in Cape Town, however, all hope has died. The toddler apparently disappeared between 2 and 4pm on Wednesday while playing outside her home. Police found her body in a field three kilometres from her house.

Seven-year-old Ntswaki Sonica Moloi from Bethlehem met an untimely and tragic death too this week. Her half-naked body was found in the casing of a sports stadium floodlight on Sunday night. A 27-year-old man, a neighbour, had been arrested. The possibility of rape will be investigated.

The SA Police Service's annual report this week stated that children were the victims in 40.8 percent of rape cases reported during 2004/05. "It is clear that especially in relation to sexually motivated violence, women and children (who together account of 100 percent of rape victims) are indeed extremely vulnerable," said the report. Despite this, and the fact that rape had increased by four percent over the two financial years and indecent assault by eight percent, Safety and Security Minister Charles Nqakula, upon releasing the report in Pretoria on Wednesday, said: "The future to me looks very rosy in terms of the fight against crime and criminality in South Africa." Later on he admonished South Africans for bad-mouthing their country overseas and giving it the image of a crime-ridden nation. I think the message is being spread regardless of bad mouthing.

In court this week, was Dina Rodriguez, accused of plotting the murder of six-month-old baby Jordan Leigh Norton. One newspaper showed a cheerful looking Rodriguez outside the court, where her bail was being challenged after she allegedly violated its conditions. There was something macabre about that smile.

Also in court this week was a 32-year-old East London businessman, who has been charged with possessing pornographic photographs of five-year-old girls. The pictures were found on a digital camera.

I come from Mitchell's Plain, a community that had witnessed the pain and suffering of many a parent who had lost a child to violence at the hands of someone else. Like Matthew Ohlson and Rafiek Hardien – whose family I personally know. Ohlson (9) disappeared in 1997; he has yet to be found. His parents Michael and Michelle Ohlson have established the organisation, Concerned Parents for Missing Children, to help track down other missing children.

Five-year-old Hardien went missing from the road on which he lives in August last year. His body was found in Mitchell's Plain two weeks later. He had been murdered. In the case of crime and violence against children, statistics are not merely numbers. Are we allowing these crimes to happen? By becoming the docile, preoccupied society that we have; by our silence; by failing to acknowledge that we share a collective responsibility in keeping children safe; by not reclaiming our streets? We are. And there's nothing Proudly South African about that. .

Fayrooz Bailey was recently awarded a White Ribbon Award from Women Demand Dignity for her 2005 column 'Nothing to be proud about...' She is news editor for iafrica.com and mother to two delightful cherubs.

Express Yourself!

2007-03-15T10:34:00.000+02:00

By Stasha Jordan

Motherhood is a joyfully trying time. Excitement and anxiety collide and the rest as they say, is emotional history that our devoted husbands survive. Pregnancy carries the blessing/burden of life; expectations are many as are disappointments.

Words of wisdom (from a friend over coffee): “Pregnancy is a state of anxiety”.

Some of us mommies have joyfully brought to light, and sometimes sadly lost, children. I remain one of the very lucky ones: top medical aid; gynie (gynecologist) to the stars; the most bohemian midwife to follow my spectacular, completely natural water birth, at an equally spectacular birthing clinic.

This does not apply to the vast majority of South African women. Imagine all the joy and anxiety of expectant motherhood eclipsed with the premature birth of a 600 gram baby, clinging to life while you are informed that your HIV status is positive, you are weak, in a state clinic where funding is limited, have suffered severe abdominal trauma and are struggling to lactate, or are not allowed to stay at the hospital while your pride and joy is in NNICU. If you are unable to supply your own breastmilk, regardless of whether it is abundant and pasteurized, your little one will be given formula with a high risk of contracting Necrotising Enter Colitis and dying. If only you had medical aid or a private clinic? If only…

The South African Breastmilk Reserve was born with Logan, my little dude, with the vision of supporting women in motherhood and infants, through donations of pasteurized breastmilk. Bringing donor moms like myself, with privileged access to quality medical care and family support, closer to those mommies born to less fortunate circumstances, to share in the joys and tribulations of motherhood.

SABR today, runs two breastfeeding promotion programs, the human milk bank project of Gauteng and the Feed for Life Initiative. ‘Feed For Life’ endeavours to offer mothers living in poverty and with HIV/AIDS, through the home pasteurisation of breastmilk, a second alternative to formula feeding. The project aims to empower women living in poverty and with HIV/AIDS through educated infant feeding choices, giving them access to information and support. Both programs are still in their infancy and are looking for your support.

So, express yourself! Yes… literally, and donate your excess breastmilk. Children affected or infected by HIV/AIDS are usually nutritionally vulnerable; providing them with breastmilk, which is nutritionally and immunologically superior to any other substitute, is central to their well- being. Whether a child cannot obtain breastmilk directly from its mother because she is ill, or the baby is premature, makes no difference. A newborn deserves the best possible nutrition as there is indisputable and documented evidence that breastmilk is superior nutrition for babies.

You can express your support in many other ways too - do have a look at the South African Breastmilk Reserve's website - www.sabr.org.za - for more information.

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In the news: Mother’s Milk Shipped To South Africa To Feed Starving Orphans (ABC News)

Trivia: “The first picture of [a breast pump]... appeared in Italy in 1577. Breast milk banking first started in Boston [US] in 1910.″ -Ted Greiner, History of Breastfeeding

Of interest: MomSquawk article dealing with the topic of donor breastmilk.